The title basically says it all. For the small steps that WWE took tonight, this validated the fears that many have about the supposed "change" that WWE is going to bring with Heyman and Bischoff's latest roles.
Raw Thoughts
- So much for last week's big explosion being the catalyst for the new stage. Same old stage as last week.
- The show starts off with a Mixed Tag Team Elimination Match between Seth Rollins/Becky Lynch and Andrade/Zelina Vega. Um, so if Andrade gets eliminated, does that mean Seth can pin her too? Because if it is a straight-up Mixed Tag Match, Seth pinning Andrade would basically eliminate himself, right? It's not intergender. I don't see Tessa Blanchard or Sami Callihan out in the ring. Then again, not many people saw them in the ring last night either. (You can hate on that, but you know I'm right.)
Zelina and Becky have a great chemistry compared to Becky and Lacey. Good back and forth between both genders here in the opening moments. As you would expect, Becky ends up making Zelina tap out to the Disarm-Her. After that "fall," Lacey Evans shows up. Seth has to pull Becky away from her. After the break, we get Andrade vs. Seth with Becky having to fight off Zelina (who remained at ringside as a manager). Becky at one point takes a rough looking shoulder tackle from Andrade when Seth moves out of the way. But Seth ends up getting The Stomp on Andrade and winning the match.
After the match, Seth and Becky (supposedly smart faces) do the trademark stupidest move in babyface wrestler history: walk up the ramp and turn the back to the entrance way. It's the invitation for Baron Corbin and Lacey Evans to attack from behind. Lacey Evans completely whiffs the first punch to Becky and has to throw it again to do the sellout. (It looked like Becky literally had to help Lacey connect on the punch.)
(I liked the match, despite it being completely illogical in terms of what would happen if Seth got pinned. But I completely disliked the end of the segment. Corbin has "Go Away/Librarian/X-Pac/Baron Corbin" heat, which is NOT good heat despite how you may want to characterize it. As for Lacey Evans, she is simply not ready to be in the spot she's in. I gave her 3 months of being in a program. I am making that judgment now.)
- Baron and Lacey have a terrible discussion backstage that sounds like it was written by a spurned teenager about losing championships and the ruined relationship for Becky and Seth.
- Paul Heyman is in the ring. He puts over Extreme Rules happening in Philadelphia, and his knowledge about "extreme" and "Philadelphia." Paul Heyman promises that Brock Lesnar will cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase. He promises that he is either spoiling the inevitable or cashing in the fact that he's told the truth every time he's told the truth about "spoilers" since WrestleMania 30. Only he knows.
(This is another rinse and repeat promo from Paul Heyman. I can't really give any praise for this segment as it just seemed to repeat what has been promised before and what has not been delivered before.)
- We get the announcement that Lashley vs. Strowman will be a Last Man Standing Match at Extreme Rules.
- Shane and Drew see a garbage man working backstage. Shane selects him to be the tag team partner for Roman Reigns later tonight.
- The Miz comes out next for... WHAT THE LITERAL HELL... a 2/3 Falls 6-Man Tag Team Match. The Miz and The Usos vs. Elias and The Revival. Just stop the pain. (I'm already giving this a Thumbs Down. It could be the Tanahashi vs. Okada of 6-Man Tag Team 2/3 Falls Matches, but enough has to be enough.)
Fall 1- One of The Usos gets worked on for a good bit of time. Miz attacks Elias at ringside. He runs off Elias from ringside. Shatter Machine to The Uso in the ring. 1-2-3. Oh boy! The Usos and The Miz get that Second Fall Opportunity to even things up NEXT!
Fall 1- Elias and The Revival (1-0)
My Interest in this Match (0-1)
THE GLORIOUS SECOND FALL OPPORTUNITY (Fall 2)- Jimmy Uso (I guess that's The Uso from earlier) gets beaten down by the heels. God, I hope he gets that tag. This 2nd Fall Opportunity is slipping through his fingers. Jimmy gets the tag to Jey. That 2nd Fall Opportunity has NEW HOPE! Dash gets kicked into the corner. Running Seat Attack in the corner by Jey Uso. Crossbody by Jey gets reversed for a 2 count. Dawson gets a blind tag and hits a brainbuster. 2 count. The Miz now wants that tag desperately to get that Second Fall Opportunity. Jey gets it without much effort. Skull Crushing Finale! My God! They got that second fall!
Fall 2: Miz and The Usos
My Interest in this Match (0-1-1) -1 being for sarcasm at the end.
Fall 3: The Usos fly all over the place. Superfly Splash ends the match in about 15 seconds.
Winners: Miz and The Usos
(No. Just no. Next....)
- We get a recap of Drake Maverick winning the 24/7 Championship last week and his honeymoon with his wife in their hometown of Orlando, FL. He keeps putting the championship over the face of his wife during photos and videos. Drake is hiding now in one of the production crates while his wife sits on one of the others. He gets out and says he's going to show her what kind of great husband he's going to be after tonight. They will consumate their marriage if he follows through with his promise. Here comes the lower-card 24/7 Title chasers. (Go run and earn those paychecks, pals! I legitimately feel sorry for 80% of you.)
- No. Now it's the Hot Dog deliveryman who is going to be Roman Reigns's tag team partner tonight. Lol.
- Rey Mysterio is back and declares an open challenge. Rey gets on the mic and says he's going to make it short and simple. He talks about dropping the United States Championship. He talks about beating the doctor's estimates for his return, rehabbed hard, and has returned. He formally puts on the "open challenge."
It's Bobby Lashley. Well, that is mildly disappointing if I'm being honest. Mysterio jumps Lashley as he gets in the ring. Rey does a bunch of flips and twists (as usual). 619 connects in seconds on Lashley. Lashley catches him and plants him face first after coming off the top rope. Running spear puts Mysterio away in about 1 minute total in the match.
After the match, Mysterio gets thrown out of the ring by Lashley. Lashley drags Mysterio up the ramp by the head. Lashley plays as if he's going to throw Mysterio through the LED boards. The refs stop him from doing it. So, he throws Mysterio on the refs. He gets on a mic. He talks about being the only man standing last week. Sunday, he'll be the Last Man Standing.
(That was really impressive for Lashley. Yet it was very disappointing for anyone expecting an actual match. Still, I'm not going to fault WWE for booking Lashley strong.)
- AJ is with The Club. AJ refuses to answer why The Club was brought back together. Anderson and Gallows also refuse to comment.
- No Way Jose vs. Cesaro is next. (We aren't being saved from this match this week, are we?) Cesaro walks down gingerly as if he's nursing a knee injury. He chases off the Congo Line. Jose goes after Cesaro on the floor and beats him down. Cesaro comes back in the ring, and he's grasping his knee. Cesaro takes advantage once the match starts. Uppercuts and a Gutwrench Suplex by Cesaro. Swing. Sharpshooter. Jose taps.
(Thankfully, that was short. It wasn't painless. But it was short. So, I'm not going to call it a "dislike" tonight.)
- The Street Profits are backstage. They cut a promo about Extreme Rules and the Reigns/Taker vs. Shane/Drew. They then talk about tonight's big tag match. They then tell Kerwin in the truck that it's time for the transition.
(That was just annoying. Fail. I like the Street Profits. But this just didn't work for me. You don't get points just for breaking the fourth wall. Sorry, WWE. You aren't Deadpool.)
- We get a recap of the Mike and Maria Kanellis situation from last week. Maria and Mike are shown backstage. Mike brings flowers and apologizes for last week. Maria and Mike say they love each other. Maria loves "ice cream." She tells him she wants "ice cream and pickles." He accidentally says "non-fat," and she emasculates him with some barbs. "What kind of man taps out to a woman?" she asks. (As someone who has seen people in this sort of relationship, this is definitely something I want to see WWE play out and show the horrors that it can cause to people.)
- Bayley and Nikki are interviewed about tonight's Beat the Clock Challenge. Nikki wants to win this for Alexa to get to pick the stipulation for Extreme Rules. She is sick of Bayley's bashing of Alexa. It just makes Nikki want to beat up Bayley some more. Michael Cole announces the opponents: Bayley vs. Sarah Logan. Nikki is taking on Dana Brooke. Bayley is not afraid of chaos or Sarah Logan. Nikki puts over Dana's strength and size. But she's not tougher than Nikki. She will beat Dana because she'll do anything for Alexa Bliss.
(You know what? I liked this. It beat the hell out of A Moment of Bliss or a forced in-ring promo. Thumbs up.)
- R-Truth is looking through the production crates backstage to find Drake Maverick. He talks to Carmella like the 24/7 Championship is his "baby." He can't wait to be alone with my baby tonight. (HAHA!) Drake Maverick and the 24/7 Lower-Card talent come running past them. Truth puts Carmella on his back and goes running... in the opposite direction.
- The Viking Raiders face The Justin Brothers (a couple of local Indy wrestlers/jobbers for tonight). This match lasts about 1 minute as Hanson/Ivar does a Superfly Splash off the top rope on one of the men. Then, they take the other man and hit a Double Powerbomb holding up both men. Viking Experience finishes their prey off.
Drake Maverick runs into the ring as do some of the lower-card jobbers. Truth runs in the ring too. Maverick runs out of the arena. Truth runs off with Carmella in the opposite direction again.
- Roman Reigns is interviewed backstage. He is asked who his partner is going to be. He has no clue either. So no scoop.
- Ricochet vs. Luke Gallows is next. Ricochet comes out first and gets a mic. He talks about his feud with AJ Styles. He used to look up to AJ Styles. He proved himself against one of his idols last week. Then The Club had to give him one of the biggest beatings of his life. He knows The Club are going to gang up on him. He basically says "Bring It."
Enter The Club to AJ Styles' theme. AJ gets a mic. He gives Ricochet some advice: slow down and appreciate the moment. This includes what happened last week. Cue the replay of the beatdown. The bell rings once the video ends. Gallows hits a big chokeslam on Ricochet in the ring. 2 count. Gallows continues to beat down Ricochet as AJ Styles yells insults from ringside. Ricochet catches Gallows on a rollup in a split second. 1-2-3. AJ is livid. He gets on the mic. He said Ricochet wanted to go through "all 3 of us." So, he suggests Karl Anderson be next in line against Ricochet.
We return to... you guessed it... Karl Anderson vs. Ricochet. This goes about the way you expect. Ricochet is more able to do his style of offense with a guy the size of Karl Anderson. And he gets some moves in. Spinebuster by Anderson gets a 2 count. Ricochet kicks Anderson in the nose. AJ distracts Ricochet allowing Anderson to get a shot in. Ricochet dives over the ropes onto Gallows and then moonsaults onto AJ Styles. 630 on Anderson. 1-2-3. The Club beat down Ricochet in the ring and stand tall. AJ teases a Styles Clash off the corner, but he just lets Ricochet go.
AJ gets on the mic. He's a good guy. He's going to leave a little bit of Ricochet left for Extreme Rules so he doesn't have any excuses. He tells Ricochet to stay down. The Club leave the ring, but Ricochet refuses to stay down. The Club come back in the ring. Phenomenal Forearm to Ricochet. Too Sweet in the middle of the ring.
(Good segment overall. The Club got some good heat from beating down Ricochet, and Ricochet got some good sympathy for being relentless. Good work by all involved.)
After this happened, Michael Cole called EVOLVE the "premiere" independent company in the world. (Pfff....)
- Drake Maverick's wife waits for him to get to her. She is sitting on the production crates from earlier. Drake gets to his wife and celebrates. R-Truth comes out of the crate she was sitting on WITH A REFEREE. "HORNSWOGGLE, THAT'S MY BABY!" Carmella emerges from another crate. The Mavericks run off while Truth puts the referee on his back and runs off past SmackDown Women's Champion Bayley who is coming out for the Beat The Clock Challenge.
(If R-Truth isn't already a Hall of Famer, this run just put him over the top.)
- A poor janitor walks by Shane and Drew. They go after him trying to get him to be the tag partner. After the break, they offer "Gary" $5,000 to just stand in the corner. They offer to get him a mask for the match.
- Beat The Clock Challenge
Part 1: Bayley vs. Sarah Logan- Sarah Logan comes out to the Riott Squad theme. (Weren't they broken up by the draft?) Logan at about 1:00 elevates Bayley up and hits a big Glasgow Kiss type headbutt. Time keeps ticking while Bayley is on the floor recovering. We are at 2:40, and Bayley is still being assaulted by Sarah Logan (who looks like she could be starring in a Xena reboot). At 3:25, we get a "CM PUNK" chant from the crowd. That should tell you how well this is going. Bayley starts fighting back at around 3:45. Sunset Bomb into the corner at 4:24 knocks Logan out. At 4:32, Bayley gets the win.
Part 2: Nikki Cross vs. Dana Brooke- Dana gets out of the ring as soon as the bell rings to let the time continue to count down. Dana hugs Bayley at ringside. Nikki has enough and starts chasing Dana. They get in the ring finally. Nikki is thrown in front of Bayley. Nikki goes back in the ring and goes after Dana. Dana tries to hit a Senton Bomb, but it misses. At 1:55 left, Nikki hits her finisher and wins at around 1:50 left. Alexa Bliss (thanks to Nikki Cross) gets to pick the stipulation for Extreme Rules.
Nikki gets on the mic and asks Bayley to get in the ring. She wants to say something to her face. She says Bayley will face Nikki and Alexa in a 2-1 Handicap Match for the SmackDown Women's Championship. She tells Bayley that she needs to go find a friend to slap some sense into her. Bayley slaps her and hits Bayley to Belly on Nikki. She climbs up the top rope and hits the elbow drop.
(Ugh. That crowd could not have cared less. And I can't blame them. Unless you have the right talent in the match, you can't really nail Beat The Clock as an engaging concept to win over the fans. Dislike.)
- Maria gets the ice cream and pickles, but she complains about the fact that it would make her fat. She asks if Mike would impregnate her now. For the record, Mike would impregnate her now. Maria says he will never impregnate her again. Maria drops the bomb: Mike may not actually be the one who impregnated her this time.
- Corey Graves interviews Becky Lynch and Seth Rollins. Corey asks how their personal relationship will affect their performance this Sunday. He asks what they will feel if their partner loses their titles for both of them. Becky calls him out for having an "emo head" and trying to cause something. Becky says those two dopes are leaving with nothing. Seth just says "Yeah. What she said..." Seth walks off. Corey: "This is going to be an implosion."
- We get a recap of Kofi and Joe's Face-To-Face Confrontation. And we get another forced Street Profits promo about the PPV discussing that match and the Winner-Takes-All Mixed Tag Team Match. One of the Street Profits mocks picking Baron Corbin to win the match for his team to very mild boos. The other says "We can't afford to get booed in our second week up here." (Me: Don't worry. More promos like this week and you'll be getting booed without even having to resort to using Baron Corbin for mild reactions.)
- Roman Reigns/"Gary" vs. Drew McIntyre and Shane McMahon- (I love how WWE still has the "SmackDown" logo whenever Roman Reigns comes out. Yet, in the last 4 months, Roman has definitely shown up a LOT more on Raw than his own brand. It's an absolute joke at this point. In fact, when was the last time he appeared in person on SmackDown? Was it before the Saudi Blood Money show?)
They introduce the 5th Grade Spelling Bee Champion... (ME?! No...) The G.O.A.T. Gary Garbutt (the janitor from earlier tonight). Gary limps to the ring as we return from break.
It's 10:56pm. So, this is going to end pretty quick I imagine as we return from commercial break. Roman fights off Drew McIntyre in the ring and hits a Samoan Drop. He goes for the Superman Punch, but he gets the Glasgow Kiss instead. Gary got the tag and gets thrown in the ring. Shane gets the tag. Loud "GARY" chant. Gary kicks Shane in the face. Gary hits a bunch of running moves and dives out on Drew. Claymore Kick on Gary. 1-2-3. Shane wins. Shane demands to know who this guy is. Roman fights off Drew from the ring. Roman goes to rip the mask off. IT WAS CEDRIC ALEXANDER! Roman shows respect to Cedric for trying to help out.
(I'm going to give a mild thumbs up to this. Why? Cedric Alexander dazzled the crowd, and this is something they can use to possibly help him out in the future. "Remember when he did..." They kept the heat on Drew and Shane while giving Cedric a nice moment to shine. This was too quick. But I'm going to give Cedric's 2 minutes of fame a Thumbs up.)
What I Liked
- Shane and Drew's "search" for Roman's Tag Team Partner.
- Lashley being booked strong.
- Bayley/Nikki Interview for Beat The Clock Challenge
- Mike/Maria Segments
- R-Truth ("With My Baby Tonight" reference) and 24/7 Randomness.
- The Club vs. Ricochet
- Cedric gets a moment to shine
What I Didn't Like
- Lacey Evans and Baron Corbin's promo/Lacey's missed punch
- Paul Heyman's promo
- ANOTHER 2/3 FALLS MATCH (and the fact that I have to use capital letters to show how angry I am in seeing these used yet again on WWE TV)
- Street Profits Promos about Extreme Rules
- Beat The Clock Challenge (With the wrong talent, these challenges have a hard time working in getting the crowd excited.)
- The Main Event got... 4 minutes?!
If Paul Heyman deserves credit for last week, he deserves some blame for this week too. You can't just credit Heyman for every good thing that happens on this show. Some of this was undoubtedly his garbage too, if you wish to continue to believe the narrative that Heyman has some say in what happens on TV. After this week, I really have some doubts that he has much say at this point. This felt like a slightly better Raw than average and not the "glory days have returned" type that most people tried to hail last week's show as. I like the small victories this show got, but that's not enough to combat some of the systemic problems that this product continues to have.
Until next time, take care of yourselves. Spread some awesomeness.
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