After a Raw that was well received by many, SmackDown stopped that momentum and lived up to my nickname for it: Diet Raw.
SmackDown Thoughts
- They replay the events of last night between Lashley and Strowman and put it over as one of the "most explosive moments" in WWE. (With all those fireworks that went off, I would have to say that's a safe bet.) Lashley was released last night. Strowman is still in the hospital after what happened.
- We officially start the show with The Kevin Owens Show. His guests are Drew McIntyre and Shane McMahon. They replay Undertaker's appearance and promo last night. (Diet Raw is off and running I see so far.) Shane is not afraid of Undertaker. He's on a hot streak, and he makes it a No Holds Barred Match. Drew calls the upcoming match "a physical assault the likes of which no one has ever seen before." Kevin replays the footage and says "Shane isn't afraid." He ends up getting under Shane's skin. Shane tells Kevin to stick to the cards. Kevin Owens reads a question about Shane losing to Undertaker at WrestleMania 32.
Dolph Ziggler comes out. Kevin Owens tells him to stop and not even start. It's not him. It's never going to be him. Dolph and Kevin start arguing back and forth about title opportunities. Shane says none of them are going to get title opportunities. Shane puts them in a tag team (because, why not?), and they will face Heavy Machinery. The winners will be entered into the SmackDown Live Tag Team Championship match at Extreme Rules.
(Diet Raw is back. And worse yet, we are getting another Tag Team made up of singles stars, and it's that old McMahon gimmick of making partners who hate each other team up. I hated this opening. Boring and everything that has been wrong with WWE lately. For anyone holding out hope that SmackDown would be different, like Raw was, I'm afraid I've got some bad news.)
- Daniel Bryan and Rowan are interviewed backstage. Daniel goes off about the math facing them as champions in a Triple Threat match. But they will keep their titles. After the break, Xavier and Big E are asked about the Triple Threat Match at Extreme Rules. They are going to become 6X Tag Team Champions.
- The first match on Diet Raw is Big E taking on Daniel Bryan. This is what you would expect at first: Bryan trying to go for the scientific wrestling while Big E is too busy playing up to the crowd. A big clothesline by Big E to Daniel Bryan takes us to the "much beloved" double-screen commercial break. Bryan toys with Big E during the break, faking entering the ring at multiple times. Bryan finally enters and starts getting the advantage of Big E in the corner with punches and kicks. Big E returns the favor in the other corner with punches of his own. Bryan hits a chop block to the knee. Single Leg Crab on the leg of Big E. Bryan works on the knee in the corner as we go back to full screen.
Big E starts throwing Bryan around the ring with ease. But Bryan kicks the quad. Another Belly-to-Belly by Big E. Splash by Big E gets a 2. Bryan avoids a Suicide Dive by Big E, but E stops the same from Bryan. Rowan attacks Big E on the floor behind the ref. Running knee by Bryan. 1-2-3.
(I think this is a match that looked terrible if you didn't see the commercial break. But the double screen commercial break actually added something to the overall experience. I'm giving this a thumbs up for giving us a good TV match that kept the champs strong.)
- R-Truth is interviewed backstage. They replay Truth losing the championship to Drake Maverick. R-Truth heard that Hornswoggle is in the city. He's coming after his 7/11 Championship tonight.
- Alexa Bliss is backstage. She wants Nikki Cross to host "A Moment of Bliss" tonight. Nikki protests, but Alexa says she's kicking Nikki out of the nest. It's next with Special Guest Bayley.
Nikki comes out for her show after the break. She thanks Alexa Bliss and says she loves her. She is going to talk slow due to her Glasgow accent. Here comes Bayley. They talk about Alexa. Bayley calls Alexa a liar. Nikki is going to stop the unfairness that Alexa faces. Bayley says what's unfair is that Nikki is NOT facing Bayley while Alexa is. Nikki wants to face Bayley right now. Bayley accepts. Nikki runs to the ring and runs the ropes.
(Not only is this "Diet Raw." But now, it is "Diet Raw: Same Stuff as Diet Raw Last Week.")
- We get our match of Bayley vs. Nikki Cross. Bayley takes down Nikki early on. Nikki comes back at Bayley after doing some pep talk to herself about Alexa. Nikki eventually takes some control and starts getting momentum. Bayley catches Nikki and hits Bayley to Belly. 1-2-3. After the match, Nikki is yelling on the mat for Alexa.
(50/50 Booking here. Not a fan.)
- Ali cuts another unique promo from some back alley area. Ali is going to change our mind when he becomes WWE Champion. Let the chase continue, let the lies be exposed, and let the change begin.
- Face to Face is next with Kofi Kingston and Samoa Joe. Joe warns the interviewer to get out of the ring. Joe talks about benevolence. He talks about New Day just being Kofi's lackeys. Kofi says he's beaten everyone by himself, and he'll do the same to Joe at Extreme Rules. He asks what Joe has done by himself lately. Joe's been playing "hide and seek" lately attacking people. Kofi says Joe is too big to play "hide and seek." Joe responds by talking about Kofi's family and how Kofi really doesn't care about the family. Kofi knows what Joe is doing. But Joe is just "Jealous Joe." Kofi says Joe will never have a moment to share with his kids. Joe says he's going to be the next WWE Champion. If Kofi shakes his hand, he guarantees the safety of everyone Kofi holds dear. Joe tells Kofi he has 5 seconds to do so. Kofi flips him off instead and hits Trouble in Paradise.
(The camera positioned itself to not show the bird being flipped. Good promo by both men.)
- Heavy Machinery are interviewed backstage. They declare that they are coming for the championships at Extreme Rules.
- We get an update from Bobby Lashley about his condition following last night. Braun got exactly what he deserved. Braun didn't care about Bobby's well-being. Lashley is going to send Braun to the morgue next time he sees him.
- Apollo Crews vs. Andrade is next. The match gets no entrances. It starts immediately after the Lashley video is over. Double Knees by Andrade get a 2 count. Apollo dumps Andrade to the floor and hits a moonsault from the apron. Split Screen Commercial Break Time!!!!!! Andrade uses Zelina to distract Apollo, but Apollo doesn't buy it. They go back in the ring. Slingshot Senton by Apollo. Andrade gets the advantage on Apollo and starts beating him down in the ring. Double Knees miss this time.
We return to full screen. Apollo is now building momentum. Apollo rocks Andrade on the top turnbuckle, lifts him up, walks to the middle of the squared circle, drops him in the ring, and standing moonsaults him. 2 count. Elbow by Andrade rocks Apollo sending him to the floor. Apollo gets sent into the table by Zelina. Back in the ring, Hammerlock DDT puts away Apollo Crews. Andrade gets the win.
(Andrade hasn't been on SmackDown for a while. So it was nice to see him get a win and finish this mini-program with Apollo Crews. Good match too. On a show that hasn't really done much to win me over, this was a nice match.)
- Dolph Ziggler and Kevin Owens talk backstage. They both argue that the other should just sit in the corner and let them win. KO suggests that they just go try at least. What's the worst that can happen?
- Aleister Black reveals that NO ONE was at the door when he opened it last week. He cares less for the reveal. He only wants him to show up at Extreme Rules. He wants to fight him at the Seven Layers of Hell. Aleister Black finds himself invigorated. He wants to face the man who wanted to pick a fight with him.
(Spoiler: It's going to be Bray Wyatt. I'm calling it now.)
- Ember Moon takes on Mandy Rose next. Sonya Deville distracts Ember early on, but Ember is still able to fight off Mandy for a second. Mandy takes advantage in this fast-forward style match. A running knee only gets a 2 for Mandy. All of a sudden, Ember gets Double Knees to the face of Mandy. Eclipse. 1-2-3!
(That was a nothing match. I'm not going to love or hate it. But the women's matches have been too short tonight to really matter.)
- Shelton Benjamin is interviewed backstage about who he thinks will win the WWE Championship at Extreme Rules. He makes a bunch of silly facial movements and then walks off. Ok then...
- The Main Event is Heavy Machinery taking on Dolph Ziggler and Kevin Owens. We get The New Day at their announce table set-up and Daniel Bryan and Rowan at the regular announce table. (This whole show has been a farce in terms of being anything remotely resembling a "change." It's literally the same old garbage and further continuation of Diet Raw.) Daniel Bryan accuses Xavier of making a joke of the whole SmackDown show. (Sorry, Daniel. With how terrible this show has been the last two months, the jokes write themselves. DIET RAW.) Daniel Bryan accuses Heavy Machinery of being guilty of just being like The New Day. New Day attacked Rowan and Bryan. Running Knee to Big E. Rowan flattens Xavier Woods. Pancakes go flying as Rowan clears the table to put Xavier through it, which he does.
They restart the match after the commercial break. (WHY?! The outside shenanigans affected nothing going on in the ring. This is another example of the ridiculousness happening to cause breaks during the matches. Though I should be glad that we didn't get an 8 Man Tag Team Match out of that debacle before the break.) Tucker gets beaten down by KO and Ziggler (because Otis ALWAYS has to get the hot tag). Tucker hits a crossbody on KO to get the tag to Otis. Otis hits a big running headbutt and suplex on Ziggler. But Ziggler responds with a spike DDT. KO gets tagged in. Ziggler accidentally superkicks Owens. Owens gets hit with the Compactor. 1-2-3.
(Nothing about this main event should have been there. This was not main event level. Once again, Roman Reigns is NOT on his brand's show. We don't even get Finn Balor or a Kofi Kingston match. Heavy Machinery are not a main event act period. Neither are KO or Ziggler for that matter. Just an awful main event in terms of booking that should not have existed in that spot. This is how you open a second hour, not how you end it.)
After the match, KO Stunners Ziggler.
Overall, this was a subpar episode of Diet Raw/SmackDown Live. There were a couple bright spots here and there, but everything I've hated about WWE programming was in full force here. I think it speaks volumes when Kofi didn't even get a chance to main event the show with the promo against Joe. This just sucked.
What I Liked
- Daniel Bryan vs. Big E (with commercial break content included)
- Ali Promo
- Kofi vs. Joe Promo
- Andrade vs. Apollo
(I wouldn't say I was blown away by anything in those "What I Liked" either.)
What I Didn't Like
- Opening Segment
- Diet Raw Lives On For SmackDown
- A Moment of Bliss
- Bayley vs. Nikki Cross
- The Main Event Even Existing
- No Finn or Shinsuke after last week's tease. Not even a promo.
- Unnecessary Restarts
Well, that show sucked. Hopefully, this wasn't Eric Bischoff's first night as Executive Director.
Until next time, take care of yourselves. Spread some awesomeness.
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