Ready for Diet Raw? Let's do this.
SmackDown Thoughts
- We start with a recap of the Shane/Drew/Roman/Undertaker segment from last night's Raw. We see Shane backstage cutting a promo. Roman's fate was inevitable last night. So, Roman called on The Undertaker. Shane's looked into the face of death and survived before. Shane rushes through his promo and reminds the SmackDown roster not to get on his bad side. Because, tonight, he's pissed.
(I liked that promo. Shane was rushing through it like a madman, but it got the job across.)
- The New Day (all three of them) come out. And Kofi's still throwing pancakes to the crowd like your favorite midcard wrestler. Kofi puts over his journey in the last few months including the ups & downs. They replay Joe's attack on Kofi from last night. Kofi is not going to be eaten alive by the shark that is Samoa Joe. And here comes Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler says he's not going to let someone just walk out and take his spot. Dolph says "This is my career. This is my everything." He said Kofi took the coward's way out to leap out and keep his title. He should be WWE Champion. Dolph talked to WWE Management. It's going to be Dolph vs. Kofi again tonight in a 2/3 Falls Match. If Dolph wins, he's added to the match at Extreme Rules for the WWE Championship.
(Dolph Ziggler is like that nasty zit you had as a teenager that just wouldn't go away, regardless of the creams and medicine you used. Ziggler continues to be the challenger to the midcard WWE Champion, and this is another example of the garbage that has caused fans to turn off WWE. As for Kofi, he seemed to be fishing for things to say during his promo. Almost as if he forgot his lines. Again, I like Kofi. This title reign is just snake bitten. And not in the good "Randy Orton helps put Kofi over" sort of way. Kofi needs more legit contenders. As much as I love Joe, he really is still on the same level of a Kevin Owens. And at least Kevin Owens has a WWE Universal Championship reign on the main roster.)
- We return from break to see Elias playing outside Shane's office. Miz wants to see Shane. Elias warns him not to do it. Miz tells "fake Bob Dylan" to move aside. Elias refuses and Miz says "If you play another tune, I'm going to shove that guitar up your Dark Side of the Moon." (Lame.) Shane comes out. Elias tells Shane what Miz said about Shane. Shane will face Miz if he beats Elias in a 2/3 Falls Match.
(OVERKILL on the 2/3 Falls stipulation tonight. Plus, WWE writing rears its ugly head again. Nevermind.)
- Our first official match on Raw-Lite is The New Day taking on Daniel Bryan and Rowan in a "We Lost on Raw" match. (Well, it's not officially called that. But it might as well be.) Bryan and Xavier start it out and have a nice back and forth exchange. Rowan gets the blind tag and helps mow over Xavier. The heels team up on Woods for a few moments. Woods continues to take the beating as we go to commercial, despite the fact that he had a perfectly good opportunity to tag in Big E before the break that sort of defied logic.
The commercial break split screen happens, and it's literally just Woods being worked over more by Rowan and Bryan. A jawbreaker by Woods as we return to full screen. He gets away from Rowan and tags in Big E. Big E throws Bryan around for a few moments, but he gets caught in the Labell Lock. On the outside, Woods dropkicks Rowan into the barricade. Bryan delivers Yes Kicks to Big E. Up Up Down Down connects from The New Day. 1-2-3.
(The New Day tandem of Big E and Xavier Woods needed that win. Bryan and Rowan are in a perfectly good position to take a loss like that and not suffer.)
After the match, Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens run out through the crowd and attack The New Day. Heavy Machinery comes out and faces off with Owens and Zayn. Rowan and Bryan come back in to attack Heavy Machinery, but The New Day chase them off. We go to black all of a sudden.
(I smell a 8-Man Tag Match coming up after the commercial break.)
- And as predicted, it's Heavy Machinery and The New Day vs. The Planet's Tag Team Champions, Kevin Owens, and Sami Zayn. (A little bit of overkill on the 8-man tag this week. Are you telling me you couldn't have just had Heavy Machinery vs. Owens/Zayn?) Tucker gets isolated from his team. The heels pummel Tucker repeatedly. Tucker avoids a diving knee from Bryan and knocks him inside out with a clothesline. Otis gets tagged in and starts going to work on Sami Zayn. Caterpillar connects as Kevin Owens leaves Sami Zayn to slaughter. Compactor connects to Zayn. 1-2-3.
(Dud. This match simply did not need to exist, and it was overkill from last night's Raw. This could have easily been accomplished as a normal tag match.)
- We get a replay of Bliss and Nikki's win last night. Nikki is going to face Bayley tonight. If she wins, Alexa gets her rematch against Bayley at Extreme Rules.
- We get another Ali "Hero of the People" video.
- It's time for The Miz to compete in a 2/3 Falls Match. Shane comes out after Miz's introduction. Elias follows Shane out playing his new guitar and gets his cheap heat on the crowd. (Anyone notice that Elias's air time has significantly dropped since going to SmackDown, even while being allied with the almighty Best in the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD?) . Miz gets distracted by Shane, which causes Miz to jump off the top into a high knee by Elias. Drift Away. 1-2-3. Elias is up 1-0 as we go to commercial break.
We return to see Elias continue to beat down on Miz with Shane encouraging him on. Miz fights back and starts hitting his signature moves. Miz kicks Elias in the shoulder and hits Skull Crushing Finale. Shane jumps in and starts beating the hell out of Miz. Miz wins the second fall by DQ. 1-1. Shane and Elias continue to attack Miz over and over again. Miz is thrown to the floor, and Shane throws Miz around ringside and over the announce table. The crowd is yelling "No More Shane" as Shane spears Miz in the ring. Shane calls for the bell to ring now that he's on the floor. Elias jumps off the top rope with an elbow drop. 1-2-3. Elias wins 2-1.
(I really hope this is leading to one hell of a revenge for Miz. Because on the surface, Miz has been getting his butt kicked for 6 months almost without any sense of revenge on Shane. I feel like I've seen this song and dance over and over again with the Shane McMahon storyline.)
After the match, Shane and Elias come into the ring. Elias sets up Miz in the corner for Coast To Coast. Shane dives off the corner and connects tonight against Miz.
- Finn Balor is interviewed backstage. He talks about bringing his "other side" out against Andrade at Saudi Blood Money Showdown. What's next for Finn Balor? Finn starts to answer and SHINSUKE NAKAMURA SHOWS UP! He motions towards the Intercontinental Championship and leaves. (SHINSUKE LIVES!!!!!! We can get rid of the Missing posters now.)
- HERE COMES NIKKI CROSS! She's taking on Bayley tonight to get Alexa Bliss a rematch at Extreme Rules. All of Bayley's inflatable buddies are properly inflated tonight. Nikki goes after Bayley like a mad woman, living up to her gimmick. Cross hits a Crossbody off the top for a 2 count. Bayley turns the tide on Nikki and sets her up in the corner in a Tree of Woe. Elbow Drop by Bayley to Cross in that position gets a 2. Split Screen Commercial Time. Bayley works over the arm of Cross and continues to press the advantage with a variety of impactful attacks during that time.
We return to see Cross start to fight back against the champ. Cross starts getting hyped up and trying to get the crowd invested in the match. She avoids Bayley's dive through the ropes to the floor. Neckbreaker in the ring. 1-2-kickout. Bayley starts fighting back. Bayley climbs to the top rope but misses a Crossbody. Both try to roll up the other again and again. Bayley tries to roll up Cross again, but Cross hooks the leg and catches the surprise win! Nikki Cross won the title shot for Alexa Bliss!!!! Nikki celebrates like she's won the Women's Championship! She high-fives Corey Graves at ringside and waves her hands up in the air wildly. She wanted to call Alexa in Singapore using Corey's phone. Lol
(This was a hit. While the match itself was a little clunky, both women performed very well with the limited amount of time they had. Plus Cross's over-the-top celebration of winning a title shot for her best friend made it all worth it. )
- Carmella is looking for Truth. Truth is hiding in something. Drake Maverick walks up without a referee. Drake is still angry about Truth invading his wedding to win back his title. He wants Truth to know he's ruined his life. Truth hugs him. "I thought it was Carmella's wedding. Look, Hornswoggle. If it means that much to you, go get a ref." Lol. Truth loves his title more than Drake loves his wife. Drake gets mowed over by the horde of 24/7 Challengers and is left laying in his own sorrow.
(Something tells me Maverick is going to recruit AOP to be his bodyguards for the 24/7 Championship, probably as soon as next week. Then, the question becomes who is going to overcome the two monsters to get to Maverick?)
- Ember Moon takes on Sonya Deville (of course accompanied by Mandy Rose). Sonya and Ember deliver some hard-hitting offense. But as you would expect, Mandy distracts Ember allowing Sonya to get the win after throwing Ember face first into the ring post.
(No harm no foul type of match. Sonya and Mandy were simply too much for Ember to overcome on her own. You would expect that. This was the first official match of this storyline. So, you have to expect this to be a way to lay a foundation for what's to come.)
- Aleister Black is getting crazy in his room. He's been waiting for someone to come in and fight him for weeks. Aleister says "no one is man enough to pick a fight." The door knocks!!!! Aleister gives a wicked smile. We don't see who knocked on the door.
- The main event is next as Dolph Ziggler faces Kofi Kingston in a 2/3 Falls Match. If Ziggler wins, he will be added to the WWE Championship Match at Extreme Rules. Kofi and Dolph go back and forth in a typical match between the two in the opening moments. (Athleticism has never been a problem for these guys. But interest has, especially given how damaged Ziggler is as a character.) Ziggler gets caught holding the ropes and gets rolled up for a 3 count. Kofi is up 1-0. Ziggler takes advantage of the lull between the first and second falls to throw Kofi around ringside. Zig Zag on the floor by Ziggler.
We return from commercial break to see Kofi almost get another pin on Ziggler. But Ziggler gets a superkick to pin Kofi Kingston getting a 1-1 score in this match. (Ziggler is the first man to pin Kofi since he won the WWE Championship, I do believe.)
The third fall is a back and forth battle between the two. Ziggler keeps the pressure going, but Kofi is able to get momentum going. Ziggler tries everything in the book to keep Kofi down, including reversing rollup attempts and a Jumping Spike DDT. Dolph's Famouser Attempt is turned into a powerbomb by Kofi moments later for a 2 count. Trouble in Paradise is caught by Ziggler. Kofi gets hit with ZigZag. 1-2-Kickout by Kofi. "Let's Go Kofi" chants start up. (Thankfully, a "This is Awesome" chant didn't start. Because it's not.) Trouble in Paradise connects. 1-2-3. Dolph, THANK GOD, is done as a title challenger.
(The match was good in the ring. But, Sweet Jesus, am I done with Dolph Ziggler EVER challenging for the WWE Championship at this point. I honestly just got bored wtih the match as I didn't buy Ziggler winning. And if he won, I would have been upset that he was even put in the match at Extreme Rules. Thankfully, it's just Kofi vs. Joe at Extreme Rules.)
Overall, I have to give this SmackDown a thumbs in the middle. There were several good matches on the show, but there were some equally annoying things as well. The show just felt like Raw's leftovers for about half the show, especially anything with Shane McMahon. Bayley vs. Nikki and the 8 Person Tag Match all added to this feeling that SmackDown is just basically Raw-Lite now. Or should I say Diet Raw? To add on top of that, we got no progression on the Samoa Joe/Kofi storyline, but we had to sit through another Ziggler "IT SHOULD BE ME" high-pitched promo. Ugh... Plus, I know there's the tour over in the Pacific going on, but you seriously can't expect us to notice that Roman Reigns, SmackDown's biggest star, is not on his own brand's show. But he has plenty of time for Raw.
But there were plenty of things I did like. The opening tag match, before the 8-Man Tag, was very entertaining. Seeing Shinsuke just show up on TV after going MIA for months was great, and I hope he and Finn get some time to tell a good story. Nikki Cross vs. Bayley was good enough, but watching Nikki celebrate the win was the true highlight of the segment. Aleister Black finally has someone knocking on his door. And Kofi and Dolph had a good enough match in the ring, albeit one I was very disconnected with. But hey. Dolph Ziggler is done challenging Kofi for the WWE Championship. And to quote my new Yoga guy, that's not a bad thing. That's a good thing.
What I Liked
- The New Day vs. The Planet's Tag Team Champions
- Shinsuke Nakamura on TV for the first time since (I think) right after WrestleMania.
- A limited amount of time on the 24/7 Championship
- Nikki Cross vs. Bayley
- The door finally knocks for Aleister Black.
- Kofi vs. Dolph and NO MORE ZIGGLER TITLE MATCHES!
What I Didn't Like
- Kofi/Dolph Promo
- LAME Miz/Elias Promo
- 8 Man Tag Team Match Overkill
- Miz vs. Elias 2/3 Falls
- Having to sit through another Dolph Ziggler World Title Opportunity... Opportunity.
- The Wild Card Confusion Continues
Until next time, take care of yourselves. Spread some awesomeness.
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