Yeah. You get titles like that when I'm sick. I'm not sure what is going to happen here. I just know my head feels like I've hung out with Aquaman the last few days. I'm taking cold medicines. So, bear with me if my writing gets a little "funky like a monkey," as The Dream would say (if you will).
Raw Thoughts
- We start off with the always appropriate Martin Luther King Jr. tribute on this day.
- As soon as that video ends, we get Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman to start the show. Paul keeps saying "Finn Balor" over and over again which gets the crowd to erupt. Heyman puts over Finn Balor stepping up to the plate and getting the credit that he deserved from John Cena. Heyman believes in Finn Balor, just like the WWE Universe does. Heyman is the voice that martyrs. And Heyman promises Brock Lesnar will turn Finn Balor into a martyr for the sin of the WWE Universe for believing in Finn Balor having a chance against Brock Lesnar. **SPOILER ALERT** EVEN MIRACLES FEAR BROCK LESNAR! This Sunday, Brock Lesnar puts to bed the notion that Finn Balor even belongs in the same ring with Lesnar. Balor will say "OH MY GOD! I BELIEVE IN BROCK LESNAR!" Great promo by Heyman...
BUT HERE COMES VINCE MCMAHON! Vince himself doesn't believe in Finn Balor. It's David vs. Goliath. "Goliath beat the holy hell out of David until he was reincarnated as Finn Balor." Um... that's Vince McMahon storytelling for ya. Vince puts down the local crowd as "Hillbilly Land." Anyone that believes in Finn Balor definitely believes in fairy tales. BRAAAAAUN! Here comes Strowman. (Heyman slyly gets out of the ring while Strowman gets on the apron. Nice move.) Loud "GET THESE HANDS" chants. Braun steps over the ropes. Strowman talks about his bad week last week but the luckiest in Brock Lesnar's life. He's going to get his hands on Brock Lesnar after the Rumble.
Enter Finn Balor. (This segment has gone about 15 minutes by now.) "Same old Monday Night Raw," says Balor. Everyone's doing their own thing. Finn beat three other people last week, including "the greatest of all time" John Cena. Heyman interrupts and says "second behind Brock Lesnar. Please continue." Lol. He will reclaim his Universal Championship Sunday. Strowman says he doesn't know if Finn can, but he damn well better. Finn is going to do what Braun never has done before: "Beat Brock Lesnar." Brock is just walking off smiling. Finn corrects the story of David vs. Goliath for Vince. Vince suggests having a "real life David vs. Goliath" with Lesnar and Heyman at ringside: Finn Balor vs. Braun Strowman.
(That was a good segment for what it was, but I think there was way too much stalling to get to the point. It took 20 minutes to do the work of a 10 minute promo.)
- We return to see Balor vs. Strowman in progress. As you would expect, Strowman is dominating Balor in the opening minutes here. Lesnar is just watching like a vulture ready to feast on its prey. (I would say "I smell F5s coming," but that'd be a lie: I can't smell anything with this cold. Lol.) Balor escapes the running powerslam but gets splashed in the corner for his trouble. Outside the ring, Strowman runs towards Balor but eats a Sling Blade for his trouble. Balor starts trying to knock down Strowman in the ring. Balor gets a sleeper hold in on Strowman and relentlessly applies it over and over on Strowman. Double-stomp on Strowman. Balor climbs up the corner, but Strowman grabs him and throws him at Brock on the outside. BROCK CATCHES HIM AND DELIVERED A BRUTAL SUPLEX TO HIM! Balor looks to be out as Brock stares off at Strowman. Balor pulls Lesnar down and dropkicks him into the ring post. Balor then hits a suicide dive on Lesnar. Sling Blade to Strowman in the ring. Lesnar gets attacked again by Balor. But he's so focused on Lesnar that Strowman deadlifts him into the ring. Balor escapes his clutches, hits the running dropkick, and nails the Coup de Grace! BUT BROCK LESNAR F5'S BALOR FOR THE DQ! (Can be real though: That German suplex should have ended that match 2-3 minutes ago. This ref work the Rams-Saints game yesterday?!)
(So, the point here is simple: Finn Balor may fight with all his heart and soul. But he's got a ice cube's chance in hell of beating Brock Lesnar. Watch WWE decide to make Balor "The Demon" just to sacrifice that gimmick to the altar of the "reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, BRRRRROCK LESNAR!" Nothing about this match made me think that Balor actually could get booked to win.)
- Next, we have Bobby Lashley's Intercontinental Championship Victory Celebration. Lashley is better than every wrestler in the locker room. They aren't doing "open challenges." He's a fighter. He's doing what he does for the money. Lashley gets on a podium to show off his physique. Rush calls for the lights to go down while the lights reflect on Lashley. Lashley shows off his Intercontinental Championship on his waist. Enter Apollo Crews, our first victim... I mean challenger. No one paid to see Lashley pose. They paid to see Lashley compete. Crews wants to face Lashley even if the title is not on the line. Rush says Crews has to beat him in a posedown. Crews says he doesn't know how to pose. Rush tells Crews he doesn't know how to be a champion either, based on his track record. The posedown is on. Crews and Lashley go back and forth with posing for the crowd. During "Most Muscular," Lashley jumps Apollo. Apollo dumps Lashley over the ropes and throws Rush over the top onto him.
- We return to see Lashley vs. Crews Crews goes for a power slam on Lashley, but it looked like his back gave out of him. A second attempt sees Lashley almost pull his head off coming down. Rush distracts Crews with a bunch of flips in the ring. He holds up Rush while Lashley spears Crews for the win.
(I'm not against Crews getting the opportunity. But this match was bowling shoe ugly in terms of what happened during the match itself. The attempt to powerslam Lashley just failed, and that hurt the overall match. I honestly hope that Crews is ok because that did not look good on his end.)
Enter Seth Rollins. He and Lashley just stare off as Rollins makes his way for the match against Drew McIntyre.
(Overall, the first hour of Raw was a mixed bag. On one hand, it's nice to see Balor and Crews in positions of prominence on the show. But I don't think either one looked very good after their parts on the show were over. Still, I appreciate that WWE is at least trying. That gets some points, but it doesn't completely win me over either.)
- Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre starts off our second hour of Raw. Rollins cuts a promo about MLK Jr. Day and uses that to connect to his storyline. He puts over the fact that he believes he's going to win the Royal Rumble this Sunday. He puts over his family life and his poor upbringing. He's trying to connect to the middle and lower classes by bringing up the fact that he could be working in a factory or driving a truck. Being a wrestler is in his soul and every fiber of his being. Rollins promises to win the Royal Rumble. He calls himself "The Man." (God, Becky is going to have a field day with that comment.)
Enter Drew McIntyre. He's going to kick his head off in a moment. But first, he's going to offer a rebuttal. There's a 0% chance Rollins is winning the Rumble match because of his style and disregard of his body. McIntyre says all of Rollins' determination is in him, and he's a "Terminator." McIntyre wants to face off with Rollins in the Rumble and see Rollins's eyes as he hears Drew McIntyre's name announced as the winner of the Royal Rumble.
(Again, I appreciate what WWE is doing here to try to connect Rollins to the casual viewer. That being said, they HAVE to do vignettes and segments that show Rollins's family to connect to that demographic. Otherwise, all this is is just words. If they can balance these words with some heartfelt segments, maybe they can take Rollins's career to that next level. Meanwhile, McIntyre continues to just kill it. I love everything that McIntyre does in his performances, even if he's in garbage segments like the Baron Corbin stuff a month or so back. He continues to shine over piles of garbage. Working with another shining star like Rollins should only make him look that much better.)
The match is joined in progress after commercial break. Rollins is diving all over the place on McIntyre, including a Suicide Dive outside the ring and a Springboard attack to the inside. McIntyre gets dumped to the floor. Rollins climbs up the corner and the ring post. He dives off and misses McIntyre, hitting the guard rail on the way down. McIntyre goes on the attack. McIntyre tortures Rollins in the ring and hits the Overhead Reverse Alabama Slam on Rollins on the floor as we go to another commercial break.
We return to see Rollins getting momentum against McIntyre. Rollins reverses a powerbomb into a hurricanrana for a 2 count. Falcon Arrow only gets a 2 for Rollins. "Burn it Down" stomps. Stomp avoided by Drew, but Rollins continues the attack. McIntyre is put on the corner. Rollins gets him in the Tree of Woe. McIntyre gets out with a suplex while in the position. Claymore Kick countered with a Superkick by Rollins. "This is Awesome" chant by the audience. (No. Just good people.) Rollins and McIntyre exchange blows in the middle of the ring. Glasgow Kiss (headbutt) by McIntyre. McIntyre has Rollins on his shoulders while climbing the corner. He hits a White Noise on Rollins off the corner for a 2. He follows it up IMMEDIATELY with a powerbomb for a 2 count again. McIntyre gets rolled up! 1-2-3! Rollins wins!
(A very good match here. McIntyre loses nothing in getting caught in a roll-up. Rollins and McIntyre are at such a high level that even just a very good match like this gets "This is Awesome" chants from the crowd.)
- The Revival argue with Mr. McMahon backstage. The Revival want one more opportunity. Curt Hawkins wants another chance. Vince says he's lost too many times. But maybe he can try his luck as a referee. The Revival begin sucking up to him. (How come I get a "Rams-Saints"-inspired storyline going on in my mind? Oh wait. That's right: This started a few weeks before the NFL decided to borrow that storyline for their football game. My bad. Also, the rumors about The Revival getting released from their WWE contracts appear to be null and void for now.)
- Ambrose wants to see Rollins and Lashley in the Rumble. He quotes Dr. King as well to get over his promo. "Justice will be served." (Does he mean better writing for his career? Because that would be a start.)
- We come back to the ring to see The Lucha Dragons face off against Jinder Mahal and The Singh Brothers. Did you know Rey Mysterio holds the record for the man who lasted the longest in a regular Royal Rumble match and went on to win it? Or did you know that Ric Flair was the first man to win the WWF Championship in a Royal Rumble Match? What do these facts have to do with this match in the ring? Nothing. But I care more about Rumble facts than I do about this match.
Kalisto gets worked over by Jobb... I mean, Jinder Mahal and The Singh Brothers until he gets the tag to Gran Metalik. Gran Metalik gets a surprise pin on The Singh Brothers. Mahal doesn't look to be doing much to keep calm at the moment. No "Shan-ti." No Ashanti either. (Is Ja Rule still around, by the way?)
- A promo for EC3 plays. We see EC3 pose backstage. EC3 continues to say nothing (even as being directly asked by Dana Brooke about his diet) while Elias just walks off.
(Ok. What the hell are they doing with EC3? At this point, if I'm some of the NXT talent, I'm thinking it's either NXT or back to the Indys. I know. I know. "Ugh-huh. Yeah. Like you'd turn down that money? Ugh-huh." In today's climate, where you can MAKE money now outside of WWE, yeah. I'd be thinking about my options. Better than being a speechless goof on WWE for a few weeks until a 73-year-old man loses interest and benches me for a few years while my market value goes kaput.)
(Editor's Note: Wow. These cold medications are really helping me write tonight. Lol.)
- Ladies and Gentlemen.... Elias. Same old song and dance promo from Elias. And a Baron Corbin interruption to boot. (I feel like we've been here before. Oh wait. WE HAVE!) Corbin says Elias almost got him killed last week. The crowd cheers at that statement. (Corbin has heat. And I don't buy the "heat is heat" argument. My question is whether this is "good heat" or "X-Pac heat?" I might need to do research or see if anyone else has done research on Corbin's segments in terms of ratings dips or rises.) Elias cuts off Corbin's mic. Elias sings a rather terrible song about Baron Corbin. He does ask a good question though: Why does Corbin continue to wear that vest if he's been fired as GM?
After the break, we get our "Jelly of the Month Club" match of the week (You Know? "The gift that keeps on giving the whole year) between Baron Corbin and Elias. I don't want to walk with Elias at this point. I just want to walk to my refrigerator. Elias gets kicked into the ring post, and Baron Corbin goes to work on Elias. Elias hits a jumping knee and a twisting Reverse DDT maneuver (reminded me of John Morrison's "Moonlight Ride" finisher). End of Days thankfully ends this match as Corbin gets the win.
(Did I forget to mention that this review is brought to you by a cold and the medicine by which I am trying to fight it with? I wish I had taken the drowsy version for this match.)
(Overall, I have to give the second hour of Raw a thumbs slightly up just based on the first half of it. McIntyre and Rollins put on an expectedly good match. I look forward to seeing these two go at it on a PPV with a Universal or World Championship in the picture. The rest of the hour missed with me. But one match can save a show and an hour, and this is the case for me. So far, it's 1-1 for me on the hours. Hour 3 is going to be go...dawful as Alexa Bliss is going to start us off with A Moment of Bliss. Where's the cough drops?)
- Hour 3 starts with A Moment of Bliss. (Or A Moment for Cough Drops and Coffee for me in any case. Will this be the segment where it finally works? I won't hold my breath. I need to sneeze after all.) Alexa puts over the Women's Royal Rumble Match. She goes over the participants in the match that have been announced at this point. She introduces Nia Jax. She asks Nia which champion she wants to face if she wins. She gets interrupted by Ember Moon. Ember takes Nia's mic and tells her she's tired of waiting for invitations that never come. Ember says she's going to win. ... Good God. We're getting another one of these "I'm going to win the Royal Rumble, everyone interrupts and talks over each other" segments. Out comes Alicia Fox and then Mickie James. God, knock me out now. They start arguing. Then, The Riott Squad come out. Alexa gets on her chair to yell down at the women below. She tells them they are embarrassing themselves by being "catty" and ruining her reputation as a talk-show host. She asks them to calm down. And then, the brawl commences. They take the fight into the Gorilla Position. Too bad Gorilla Monsoon isn't alive to do a run-in and say "WILL YOU STOP?!"
Alexa says "That is unexpected. The women in this year's Royal Rumble are passionate." She announces that she's competing in the Rumble match. Out comes Lacey Evans. She calls all of the women "classless." She calls Alexa a "sawed-off runt." She's entered into the Rumble as well.
(I absolutely hate these kind of segments. No one looks good when women are just fighting and talking over each other. Kudos to Alexa for mentioning it at least, but the damage was done with how this segment was laid out. But I will say this: Once all the other women left, I liked the interaction between Bliss and Evans. There was some great set-up there. Maybe Evans's first feud will be with Alexa Bliss. I could get behind that for a change. So, as much as I still hated this segment, I will say this worked much better than the first ones did. It still sucked, but it was much better.)
- Titus cuts an Old School promo backstage about winning the Royal Rumble. And he gets interrupted by a stage hand. (That is what I want to see more of and less of the "talking over each other" segments like we get every year.)
- The Ascension takes on the debuting Heavy Machinery. (I think Vince is in love with Dozovic.) The Ascension do a lot of bumping while Dozovic absolutely steals the show here. He does a Riverdance style taunt before doing an elbow drop. Then, he pulls out The Worm and an elbow drop. Heavy Machinery win in a match that would fit the old WWF Superstars (from which WWE Network has added episodes from 1992).
- The Raw Tag Team Championships are on the line next as Roode and Gable take on The Revival with Curt Hawkins as the Special Guest Referee. There's a bit of an FTR chant going from the crowd for a second. Gable and Roode hit Stereo T-Bone Suplexes on The Revival. Gable gets dumped onto Wilder, but Dawson knocks him down as we go to the good-ol' commercial break.
We return just as Gable suplexes Dawson down. Wilder fails to stop the tag, and Roode comes in with the "hot tag." Roode takes down The Revival. Roode spinebusters Wilder. He suplexes him over the top rope, but Dawson tries to hold the leg down. Hawkins refuses to count to 3. Dawson and Wilder again try to cheat with Wilder using his feet on the ropes, but Hawkins refuses to count that down. Dawson grabs the tights on Gable a moment later, but he refuses to count the pin. The Revival arguing with Hawkins costs them the match as Gable rolls up Dawson for the clean pin. After the match, Dawson and Wilder attack Hawkins. Zack Ryder runs down and saves his former tag team partner. Ryder offers his hand to Hawkins. They embrace in the ring.
(Well, The Revival had every right to complain about last week's treatment they received. This week, they were definitely in a featured spot. I do like seeing Ryder and Hawkins back as a team again. Maybe these two can get their tag team going and get some momentum both men have.)
- Ronda is interviewed in the Gorilla Position. She stumbles over her words trying to explain her actions last week and says a bunch of gibberish. I had a hard time following it. She's going to be "The Boss's Boss" this Sunday. Does that make McMahon "The Boss's Boss's Boss?" Or would that make Linda "The Boss's Boss's Boss's Boss?" Or would that make Trump "The Boss's..." Forget it.
- The main event sees Natalya and Ronda Rousey face Bayley and Sasha Banks. Sasha gets on the mic before the match. She goes over her accolades. Sasha has earned every thing she has gotten and doesn't need Rousey's praise. She's going to make Rousey tap at the Rumble. Banks jumps Rousey as the bell rings and goes to work on Natalya. Banks and Bayley work over Natalya. Rousey storms the ring and chases out Bayley and Sasha as we go to our final commercial break.
Sasha and Rousey continue to trash talk each other while Bayley and later Natalya take turns taking the offense from the other team. Banks is definitely playing up the heel role in this feud with Rousey. Sasha and Rousey end up in the ring together finally. Bank Statement on Rousey is broken up by Natalya. Natalya gets dumped to the floor. Sasha boots Rousey down. But as Bayley gets tagged in, Rousey reasserts control. Knees to Bayley by Rousey. Banks runs out of the way of a Rousey attack, allowing Bayley to take the attack by Rousey. Bayley tags in Sasha as they work over Rousey's arm. Armbar on Sasha, but Sasha gets to the ropes. Sasha kicks Rousey in the face. Natalya gets the tag. Natalya gets a suplex and low dropkick on Sasha. Sharpshooter on Banks. Bayley breaks it up and takes down Rousey. Natalya takes down Bayley. Sasha knees Natalya and hits the Bank Statement. Natalya taps out! Banks and Bayley win. (I think this is technically Rousey's first loss, isn't it? Has Rousey technically lost a match at this point, even in tags?) Sasha and Rousey go face to face as the show concludes.
(Fun match to end the show. Banks is never going to beat Rousey this Sunday, but they did a good enough job of making you want to see the match anyways. Sasha is finally playing the role she was born to be: antagonistic. Heelish. The Boss.)
Overall, I thought this was a good episode of Raw all things considered. There were several segments that didn't work for me. But for those segments, there were a few good ones that did. Plus there were some good TV matches on here, especially McIntyre and Rollins. So, I'm giving this a thumbs up.
Thanks for hanging with me as I typed this under the weather. I apologize for any spelling errors I made. But I'm submitting this bad boy and getting some rest.
Until next time, take care of yourselves. Spread some awesomeness.
Raw Thoughts
- We start off with the always appropriate Martin Luther King Jr. tribute on this day.
- As soon as that video ends, we get Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman to start the show. Paul keeps saying "Finn Balor" over and over again which gets the crowd to erupt. Heyman puts over Finn Balor stepping up to the plate and getting the credit that he deserved from John Cena. Heyman believes in Finn Balor, just like the WWE Universe does. Heyman is the voice that martyrs. And Heyman promises Brock Lesnar will turn Finn Balor into a martyr for the sin of the WWE Universe for believing in Finn Balor having a chance against Brock Lesnar. **SPOILER ALERT** EVEN MIRACLES FEAR BROCK LESNAR! This Sunday, Brock Lesnar puts to bed the notion that Finn Balor even belongs in the same ring with Lesnar. Balor will say "OH MY GOD! I BELIEVE IN BROCK LESNAR!" Great promo by Heyman...
BUT HERE COMES VINCE MCMAHON! Vince himself doesn't believe in Finn Balor. It's David vs. Goliath. "Goliath beat the holy hell out of David until he was reincarnated as Finn Balor." Um... that's Vince McMahon storytelling for ya. Vince puts down the local crowd as "Hillbilly Land." Anyone that believes in Finn Balor definitely believes in fairy tales. BRAAAAAUN! Here comes Strowman. (Heyman slyly gets out of the ring while Strowman gets on the apron. Nice move.) Loud "GET THESE HANDS" chants. Braun steps over the ropes. Strowman talks about his bad week last week but the luckiest in Brock Lesnar's life. He's going to get his hands on Brock Lesnar after the Rumble.
Enter Finn Balor. (This segment has gone about 15 minutes by now.) "Same old Monday Night Raw," says Balor. Everyone's doing their own thing. Finn beat three other people last week, including "the greatest of all time" John Cena. Heyman interrupts and says "second behind Brock Lesnar. Please continue." Lol. He will reclaim his Universal Championship Sunday. Strowman says he doesn't know if Finn can, but he damn well better. Finn is going to do what Braun never has done before: "Beat Brock Lesnar." Brock is just walking off smiling. Finn corrects the story of David vs. Goliath for Vince. Vince suggests having a "real life David vs. Goliath" with Lesnar and Heyman at ringside: Finn Balor vs. Braun Strowman.
(That was a good segment for what it was, but I think there was way too much stalling to get to the point. It took 20 minutes to do the work of a 10 minute promo.)
- We return to see Balor vs. Strowman in progress. As you would expect, Strowman is dominating Balor in the opening minutes here. Lesnar is just watching like a vulture ready to feast on its prey. (I would say "I smell F5s coming," but that'd be a lie: I can't smell anything with this cold. Lol.) Balor escapes the running powerslam but gets splashed in the corner for his trouble. Outside the ring, Strowman runs towards Balor but eats a Sling Blade for his trouble. Balor starts trying to knock down Strowman in the ring. Balor gets a sleeper hold in on Strowman and relentlessly applies it over and over on Strowman. Double-stomp on Strowman. Balor climbs up the corner, but Strowman grabs him and throws him at Brock on the outside. BROCK CATCHES HIM AND DELIVERED A BRUTAL SUPLEX TO HIM! Balor looks to be out as Brock stares off at Strowman. Balor pulls Lesnar down and dropkicks him into the ring post. Balor then hits a suicide dive on Lesnar. Sling Blade to Strowman in the ring. Lesnar gets attacked again by Balor. But he's so focused on Lesnar that Strowman deadlifts him into the ring. Balor escapes his clutches, hits the running dropkick, and nails the Coup de Grace! BUT BROCK LESNAR F5'S BALOR FOR THE DQ! (Can be real though: That German suplex should have ended that match 2-3 minutes ago. This ref work the Rams-Saints game yesterday?!)
(So, the point here is simple: Finn Balor may fight with all his heart and soul. But he's got a ice cube's chance in hell of beating Brock Lesnar. Watch WWE decide to make Balor "The Demon" just to sacrifice that gimmick to the altar of the "reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, BRRRRROCK LESNAR!" Nothing about this match made me think that Balor actually could get booked to win.)
- Next, we have Bobby Lashley's Intercontinental Championship Victory Celebration. Lashley is better than every wrestler in the locker room. They aren't doing "open challenges." He's a fighter. He's doing what he does for the money. Lashley gets on a podium to show off his physique. Rush calls for the lights to go down while the lights reflect on Lashley. Lashley shows off his Intercontinental Championship on his waist. Enter Apollo Crews, our first victim... I mean challenger. No one paid to see Lashley pose. They paid to see Lashley compete. Crews wants to face Lashley even if the title is not on the line. Rush says Crews has to beat him in a posedown. Crews says he doesn't know how to pose. Rush tells Crews he doesn't know how to be a champion either, based on his track record. The posedown is on. Crews and Lashley go back and forth with posing for the crowd. During "Most Muscular," Lashley jumps Apollo. Apollo dumps Lashley over the ropes and throws Rush over the top onto him.
- We return to see Lashley vs. Crews Crews goes for a power slam on Lashley, but it looked like his back gave out of him. A second attempt sees Lashley almost pull his head off coming down. Rush distracts Crews with a bunch of flips in the ring. He holds up Rush while Lashley spears Crews for the win.
(I'm not against Crews getting the opportunity. But this match was bowling shoe ugly in terms of what happened during the match itself. The attempt to powerslam Lashley just failed, and that hurt the overall match. I honestly hope that Crews is ok because that did not look good on his end.)
Enter Seth Rollins. He and Lashley just stare off as Rollins makes his way for the match against Drew McIntyre.
(Overall, the first hour of Raw was a mixed bag. On one hand, it's nice to see Balor and Crews in positions of prominence on the show. But I don't think either one looked very good after their parts on the show were over. Still, I appreciate that WWE is at least trying. That gets some points, but it doesn't completely win me over either.)
- Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre starts off our second hour of Raw. Rollins cuts a promo about MLK Jr. Day and uses that to connect to his storyline. He puts over the fact that he believes he's going to win the Royal Rumble this Sunday. He puts over his family life and his poor upbringing. He's trying to connect to the middle and lower classes by bringing up the fact that he could be working in a factory or driving a truck. Being a wrestler is in his soul and every fiber of his being. Rollins promises to win the Royal Rumble. He calls himself "The Man." (God, Becky is going to have a field day with that comment.)
Enter Drew McIntyre. He's going to kick his head off in a moment. But first, he's going to offer a rebuttal. There's a 0% chance Rollins is winning the Rumble match because of his style and disregard of his body. McIntyre says all of Rollins' determination is in him, and he's a "Terminator." McIntyre wants to face off with Rollins in the Rumble and see Rollins's eyes as he hears Drew McIntyre's name announced as the winner of the Royal Rumble.
(Again, I appreciate what WWE is doing here to try to connect Rollins to the casual viewer. That being said, they HAVE to do vignettes and segments that show Rollins's family to connect to that demographic. Otherwise, all this is is just words. If they can balance these words with some heartfelt segments, maybe they can take Rollins's career to that next level. Meanwhile, McIntyre continues to just kill it. I love everything that McIntyre does in his performances, even if he's in garbage segments like the Baron Corbin stuff a month or so back. He continues to shine over piles of garbage. Working with another shining star like Rollins should only make him look that much better.)
The match is joined in progress after commercial break. Rollins is diving all over the place on McIntyre, including a Suicide Dive outside the ring and a Springboard attack to the inside. McIntyre gets dumped to the floor. Rollins climbs up the corner and the ring post. He dives off and misses McIntyre, hitting the guard rail on the way down. McIntyre goes on the attack. McIntyre tortures Rollins in the ring and hits the Overhead Reverse Alabama Slam on Rollins on the floor as we go to another commercial break.
We return to see Rollins getting momentum against McIntyre. Rollins reverses a powerbomb into a hurricanrana for a 2 count. Falcon Arrow only gets a 2 for Rollins. "Burn it Down" stomps. Stomp avoided by Drew, but Rollins continues the attack. McIntyre is put on the corner. Rollins gets him in the Tree of Woe. McIntyre gets out with a suplex while in the position. Claymore Kick countered with a Superkick by Rollins. "This is Awesome" chant by the audience. (No. Just good people.) Rollins and McIntyre exchange blows in the middle of the ring. Glasgow Kiss (headbutt) by McIntyre. McIntyre has Rollins on his shoulders while climbing the corner. He hits a White Noise on Rollins off the corner for a 2. He follows it up IMMEDIATELY with a powerbomb for a 2 count again. McIntyre gets rolled up! 1-2-3! Rollins wins!
(A very good match here. McIntyre loses nothing in getting caught in a roll-up. Rollins and McIntyre are at such a high level that even just a very good match like this gets "This is Awesome" chants from the crowd.)
- The Revival argue with Mr. McMahon backstage. The Revival want one more opportunity. Curt Hawkins wants another chance. Vince says he's lost too many times. But maybe he can try his luck as a referee. The Revival begin sucking up to him. (How come I get a "Rams-Saints"-inspired storyline going on in my mind? Oh wait. That's right: This started a few weeks before the NFL decided to borrow that storyline for their football game. My bad. Also, the rumors about The Revival getting released from their WWE contracts appear to be null and void for now.)
- Ambrose wants to see Rollins and Lashley in the Rumble. He quotes Dr. King as well to get over his promo. "Justice will be served." (Does he mean better writing for his career? Because that would be a start.)
- We come back to the ring to see The Lucha Dragons face off against Jinder Mahal and The Singh Brothers. Did you know Rey Mysterio holds the record for the man who lasted the longest in a regular Royal Rumble match and went on to win it? Or did you know that Ric Flair was the first man to win the WWF Championship in a Royal Rumble Match? What do these facts have to do with this match in the ring? Nothing. But I care more about Rumble facts than I do about this match.
Kalisto gets worked over by Jobb... I mean, Jinder Mahal and The Singh Brothers until he gets the tag to Gran Metalik. Gran Metalik gets a surprise pin on The Singh Brothers. Mahal doesn't look to be doing much to keep calm at the moment. No "Shan-ti." No Ashanti either. (Is Ja Rule still around, by the way?)
- A promo for EC3 plays. We see EC3 pose backstage. EC3 continues to say nothing (even as being directly asked by Dana Brooke about his diet) while Elias just walks off.
(Ok. What the hell are they doing with EC3? At this point, if I'm some of the NXT talent, I'm thinking it's either NXT or back to the Indys. I know. I know. "Ugh-huh. Yeah. Like you'd turn down that money? Ugh-huh." In today's climate, where you can MAKE money now outside of WWE, yeah. I'd be thinking about my options. Better than being a speechless goof on WWE for a few weeks until a 73-year-old man loses interest and benches me for a few years while my market value goes kaput.)
(Editor's Note: Wow. These cold medications are really helping me write tonight. Lol.)
- Ladies and Gentlemen.... Elias. Same old song and dance promo from Elias. And a Baron Corbin interruption to boot. (I feel like we've been here before. Oh wait. WE HAVE!) Corbin says Elias almost got him killed last week. The crowd cheers at that statement. (Corbin has heat. And I don't buy the "heat is heat" argument. My question is whether this is "good heat" or "X-Pac heat?" I might need to do research or see if anyone else has done research on Corbin's segments in terms of ratings dips or rises.) Elias cuts off Corbin's mic. Elias sings a rather terrible song about Baron Corbin. He does ask a good question though: Why does Corbin continue to wear that vest if he's been fired as GM?
After the break, we get our "Jelly of the Month Club" match of the week (You Know? "The gift that keeps on giving the whole year) between Baron Corbin and Elias. I don't want to walk with Elias at this point. I just want to walk to my refrigerator. Elias gets kicked into the ring post, and Baron Corbin goes to work on Elias. Elias hits a jumping knee and a twisting Reverse DDT maneuver (reminded me of John Morrison's "Moonlight Ride" finisher). End of Days thankfully ends this match as Corbin gets the win.
(Did I forget to mention that this review is brought to you by a cold and the medicine by which I am trying to fight it with? I wish I had taken the drowsy version for this match.)
(Overall, I have to give the second hour of Raw a thumbs slightly up just based on the first half of it. McIntyre and Rollins put on an expectedly good match. I look forward to seeing these two go at it on a PPV with a Universal or World Championship in the picture. The rest of the hour missed with me. But one match can save a show and an hour, and this is the case for me. So far, it's 1-1 for me on the hours. Hour 3 is going to be go...dawful as Alexa Bliss is going to start us off with A Moment of Bliss. Where's the cough drops?)
- Hour 3 starts with A Moment of Bliss. (Or A Moment for Cough Drops and Coffee for me in any case. Will this be the segment where it finally works? I won't hold my breath. I need to sneeze after all.) Alexa puts over the Women's Royal Rumble Match. She goes over the participants in the match that have been announced at this point. She introduces Nia Jax. She asks Nia which champion she wants to face if she wins. She gets interrupted by Ember Moon. Ember takes Nia's mic and tells her she's tired of waiting for invitations that never come. Ember says she's going to win. ... Good God. We're getting another one of these "I'm going to win the Royal Rumble, everyone interrupts and talks over each other" segments. Out comes Alicia Fox and then Mickie James. God, knock me out now. They start arguing. Then, The Riott Squad come out. Alexa gets on her chair to yell down at the women below. She tells them they are embarrassing themselves by being "catty" and ruining her reputation as a talk-show host. She asks them to calm down. And then, the brawl commences. They take the fight into the Gorilla Position. Too bad Gorilla Monsoon isn't alive to do a run-in and say "WILL YOU STOP?!"
Alexa says "That is unexpected. The women in this year's Royal Rumble are passionate." She announces that she's competing in the Rumble match. Out comes Lacey Evans. She calls all of the women "classless." She calls Alexa a "sawed-off runt." She's entered into the Rumble as well.
(I absolutely hate these kind of segments. No one looks good when women are just fighting and talking over each other. Kudos to Alexa for mentioning it at least, but the damage was done with how this segment was laid out. But I will say this: Once all the other women left, I liked the interaction between Bliss and Evans. There was some great set-up there. Maybe Evans's first feud will be with Alexa Bliss. I could get behind that for a change. So, as much as I still hated this segment, I will say this worked much better than the first ones did. It still sucked, but it was much better.)
- Titus cuts an Old School promo backstage about winning the Royal Rumble. And he gets interrupted by a stage hand. (That is what I want to see more of and less of the "talking over each other" segments like we get every year.)
- The Ascension takes on the debuting Heavy Machinery. (I think Vince is in love with Dozovic.) The Ascension do a lot of bumping while Dozovic absolutely steals the show here. He does a Riverdance style taunt before doing an elbow drop. Then, he pulls out The Worm and an elbow drop. Heavy Machinery win in a match that would fit the old WWF Superstars (from which WWE Network has added episodes from 1992).
- The Raw Tag Team Championships are on the line next as Roode and Gable take on The Revival with Curt Hawkins as the Special Guest Referee. There's a bit of an FTR chant going from the crowd for a second. Gable and Roode hit Stereo T-Bone Suplexes on The Revival. Gable gets dumped onto Wilder, but Dawson knocks him down as we go to the good-ol' commercial break.
We return just as Gable suplexes Dawson down. Wilder fails to stop the tag, and Roode comes in with the "hot tag." Roode takes down The Revival. Roode spinebusters Wilder. He suplexes him over the top rope, but Dawson tries to hold the leg down. Hawkins refuses to count to 3. Dawson and Wilder again try to cheat with Wilder using his feet on the ropes, but Hawkins refuses to count that down. Dawson grabs the tights on Gable a moment later, but he refuses to count the pin. The Revival arguing with Hawkins costs them the match as Gable rolls up Dawson for the clean pin. After the match, Dawson and Wilder attack Hawkins. Zack Ryder runs down and saves his former tag team partner. Ryder offers his hand to Hawkins. They embrace in the ring.
(Well, The Revival had every right to complain about last week's treatment they received. This week, they were definitely in a featured spot. I do like seeing Ryder and Hawkins back as a team again. Maybe these two can get their tag team going and get some momentum both men have.)
- Ronda is interviewed in the Gorilla Position. She stumbles over her words trying to explain her actions last week and says a bunch of gibberish. I had a hard time following it. She's going to be "The Boss's Boss" this Sunday. Does that make McMahon "The Boss's Boss's Boss?" Or would that make Linda "The Boss's Boss's Boss's Boss?" Or would that make Trump "The Boss's..." Forget it.
- The main event sees Natalya and Ronda Rousey face Bayley and Sasha Banks. Sasha gets on the mic before the match. She goes over her accolades. Sasha has earned every thing she has gotten and doesn't need Rousey's praise. She's going to make Rousey tap at the Rumble. Banks jumps Rousey as the bell rings and goes to work on Natalya. Banks and Bayley work over Natalya. Rousey storms the ring and chases out Bayley and Sasha as we go to our final commercial break.
Sasha and Rousey continue to trash talk each other while Bayley and later Natalya take turns taking the offense from the other team. Banks is definitely playing up the heel role in this feud with Rousey. Sasha and Rousey end up in the ring together finally. Bank Statement on Rousey is broken up by Natalya. Natalya gets dumped to the floor. Sasha boots Rousey down. But as Bayley gets tagged in, Rousey reasserts control. Knees to Bayley by Rousey. Banks runs out of the way of a Rousey attack, allowing Bayley to take the attack by Rousey. Bayley tags in Sasha as they work over Rousey's arm. Armbar on Sasha, but Sasha gets to the ropes. Sasha kicks Rousey in the face. Natalya gets the tag. Natalya gets a suplex and low dropkick on Sasha. Sharpshooter on Banks. Bayley breaks it up and takes down Rousey. Natalya takes down Bayley. Sasha knees Natalya and hits the Bank Statement. Natalya taps out! Banks and Bayley win. (I think this is technically Rousey's first loss, isn't it? Has Rousey technically lost a match at this point, even in tags?) Sasha and Rousey go face to face as the show concludes.
(Fun match to end the show. Banks is never going to beat Rousey this Sunday, but they did a good enough job of making you want to see the match anyways. Sasha is finally playing the role she was born to be: antagonistic. Heelish. The Boss.)
Overall, I thought this was a good episode of Raw all things considered. There were several segments that didn't work for me. But for those segments, there were a few good ones that did. Plus there were some good TV matches on here, especially McIntyre and Rollins. So, I'm giving this a thumbs up.
Thanks for hanging with me as I typed this under the weather. I apologize for any spelling errors I made. But I'm submitting this bad boy and getting some rest.
Until next time, take care of yourselves. Spread some awesomeness.
Comments
Post a Comment