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Raw (3/18/19)- Going Nowhere While Going to WrestleMania


While this week's Raw had some announcements, many parts of this show felt more like filler than anything important.



Raw Thoughts (3/18/19)

- Brock Lesnar shows up to start the show with Paul Heyman in tow. Heyman goes to speak, and he's getting drowned out by the boos from the Chicago crowd. Heyman cuts a promo about Rollins, calling him a master of propaganda. Heyman mentions the assertion that Brock Lesnar has problems wrestling guys Seth Rollins' size. Paul Heyman puts Drew McIntyre over and asks what Seth Rollins is thinking.

Here comes Drew McIntyre. He puts himself over for what he did to 2/3 of The (former) Shield. He's going to do the same thing to Seth Rollins, and Rollins will not make WrestleMania. Rollins attacks McIntyre from behind with a chair, hitting him several times. He pauses and does it again. Rollins gets into the ring, but Lesnar just calmly gets out of the ring. Lesnar teases getting into the ring, but he just walks off instead.

(Good opening segment here with McIntyre getting promoted a bit by Paul Heyman. And Seth got some good shots in and was made to look good, even though there was no physical contact between Rollins and Lesnar. That's good though. Make the audience wait for it until WrestleMania.)

- Finn Balor (still similing even after losing his Intercontinental Championship last week; I guess it didn't mean that much to him, or he's just as used to himself losing as we all are) teams up with a "mystery partner" to take on Lio Rush and Bobby Lashley. (Michael Cole says it's going to be a "MONSTEROUS" tag team match. I just wonder who the hell he's talking about.)
He wishes the crowd a belated "Happy St. Patrick's Day." The luck of the Irish was not with him last week, but he doesn't plan on being a former champion for very long. Rush and Lashley interrupt Balor. Rush cuts a promo on the crowd and has Bobby show the crowd something they haven't seen in a while: a championship.

And yes, Finn's partner is Braun Strowman. (Shock! Awe! Jinkies!) Braun gets the advantage early on as we get a Head & Shoulders commercial with "THE MAN" Becky Lynch. A well done commercial, by the way. While I'm too busy liking a commercial instead of another Finn Balor- Bobby Lashley match, Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush have taken the advantage by beating up on Finn Balor. We're back to full screen here as Balor continues to struggle against Rush and Lashley. Lashley manhandles Balor in the ring and overpowers the smiling Irishman. Balor avoids a running shoulder into the corner by Lashley and knocks down Lio Rush.
Braun is tagged in and gets tossed around like the Chicago Bulls around the arena. He goes to hit the Powerslam, but Lashley spears him down. Balor and Lashley start going at it and go to the floor. Rush goes to the top rope and hits the Frog Splash. He gets propelled up at 2 off of Braun. Rush runs around the ring as Strowman chases him. Finn stops him from running. Rush gets in the ring and gets bulldozed over. Deadlift Chokeslam off the mat and back down. Lashley runs away from the ring, and Lio Rush gets hit with the powerslam. 1-2-3.

(A good match in the ring, but I really don't get what any of that did for anyone in the match. Braun is involved in a feud with "comedians"  from SNL. He's literally doing nothing important at WrestleMania again, and he might as well be teaming with a 9 year old again. Finn Balor is a joke as a character, and his smiling before this match just further destroys his credibility in my opinion. As for Lio Rush and Bobby Lashley, I feel bad for them.)

- Ronda Rousey shows up late with her husband. She's been fined an undisclosed amount of money. And security and officials show up to make sure there won't be another incident like last week.

- Next, we get a "Moment of Bliss" with Alexa Bliss and Elias. (Oh rapture. Oh joy. Another long Alexa Bliss talking segment. And you just add in the directionless Elias in this? Oh. I just can't wait to see what happens. I'm so overcome with anticipation. Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?)

Alexa goes on about how awesome she is. And here comes Elias. (I'll give WWE this: They're at least combining two talking segments into one.) Alexa guarantees no one will interrupt his big announcement. Elias announces that he will be the headlining musical act at WrestleMania. (Haha.)  Elias talks about last year serving as motivation for this year. He thrives on pressure. He threatens anyone that interrupts him. No Way Jose's theme plays. It's Heavy Machinery with No Way Jose's Congo line. Elias gets jumped from behind, and it is No Way Jose. Elias vs. No Way Jose seems to be next.

(That segment did absolutely nothing for me whatsoever. I award it no points. And may God have mercy on its soul.

Ok. I'll write more. I detest Alexa Bliss's Moment of Bliss segments. I've only liked 1-2 of them out of the 10-12 that there have been. Meanwhile, Elias is good in small doses. No Way Jose has been the Pet Sematary of WWE: his career is dead. Yet he still keeps coming back.)

- Elias beats No Way Jose after wasting 5 minutes of my life. No Way Jose missed a big splash off the top rope, and Elias started taking control. He hit an elbow off the top rope and hit Drift Away. Jobb.... Enhancement Talent match here.
(Can Will Smith send me one of those memory wiping devices from Men In Black? I'd like to forget the last 15 minutes.)

- Kurt Angle comes out next. He will announce his opponent for WrestleMania 35 next. Loud "Thank You Kurt" chants. He chooses Baron Corbin for WrestleMania. (I know this sounds terrible, but that's a Pre-Show match at best at WrestleMania. Nothing against Corbin or Angle, but I have 0 interest in watching that match or for other deserving talent to be left off the main card. )
He is facing Chad Gable tonight. Gable tells Angle that he is his hero before they tie up. They go back and forth, trading Greco-Roman wrestling moves as you would expect. Angle catches Gable in a Belly-to-Belly throw sending Gable rolling to the floor. Gable comes back into the ring, and they go back to work. Gable gets the advantage for several minutes, including working on the knee of Angle. He gets a knee lock on Gable, but Angle ends up dumping Gable to the floor to take us to commercial break.
We return to see Angle making a comeback against Gable. Angle gets the Ankle Lock on Gable. 2 count. German Suplex to Gable. Ankle Lock by Gable to Angle. Angle Slam countered into a DDT by Gable. 2 count. Moonsault by Gable misses. Ankle Lock on Gable. Angle grapevines the leg, and Gable has to tap out.

(It's so sad watching Kurt Angle wrestle. It's not that he isn't still good in the ring. He's just not Kurt Angle anymore. And it's sad to see. If this were even 2009 Kurt Angle, this would be a much better match.)

Here comes Baron Corbin after the match. He tells Kurt Angle all anyone will remember is his last match. It's true. It's damn true. The crowd was chanting "We Want Cena." As the WWE commentary team shills the rest of the show, in the background, Kurt Angle gets a round of applause and a "Thank You Kurt" from the live crowd.

- We get a recap of last week's decimation of The Shield by Drew McIntyre, including the fun Falls Count Anywhere match with Dean Ambrose.

- Apollo Crews interrupts Baron Corbin and The Revival. Apollo continues to harass Baron until he gets him to give him a match.

- Sasha Banks and Bayley come out next. They are asked about The IIconics claiming that they are ducking The IIconics' challenge. They agree to go to SmackDown Live and face The IIconics. Natalya's music interrupts, and SHE'S NOT ALONE! Beth Phoenix is with her. Phoenix puts over Bayley and Sasha. Phoenix wishes the belts were around during her career. She was content on just watching until Nia and Tamina tried to smear the belts. But they also awoke The Dragon. Beth now wants a chance to gain some more gold. So, she's ready to team with Natalya and face The Boss N Hug Connection at WrestleMania. Bayley asks if that's enough time for Beth to prepare. Both teams start talking smack to each other, and Natalya slaps Sasha. Some shoving and striking goes on as we go to commercial break.

Natalya and Sasha Banks have a match in the ring. They go back and forth, but the main reason for this happening is next. Nia Jax comes out and cuts a promo on everyone. Nia says she's done more in 3 years than Beth Phoenix ever did in her career. Tamina throws Beth into the ring post and superkicks both Bayley and Sasha on the floor. Nia and Tamina tell them that they will see them at WrestleMania.

(So, that just made official what we already knew. I didn't see much reason to have Sasha and Natalya wrestle since Nia just interrupted a few minutes into the match. I have no doubt that these six will have a good match at WrestleMania, but I just wonder if they'll have the time to truly stand out.)
- Mojo Rawley does another one of those stupid promos in front of a mirror. (I thought they dropped this a month or so ago.)  He wants himself to figure it out.

- The overexposed Ricochet comes out next. He takes on Jinder Mahal. Typical TV Ricochet match. Nice moves early on. He gets beaten down by the heel (Mahal) for a couple minutes. Then, he fights back and gets his finisher on the heel.

(Again, I really like Ricochet. But the appeal of him being on the main roster has diminished for me. You can't have guys wrestle Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday on a weekly basis without it having some adverse effects. He needs to be on one night of the week, and that will be appointment TV. Right now, he working aimlessly on both main-roster shows.)

- Seth Rollins cuts a promo backstage about not being afraid to fight fire with fire. He's going to do that with Drew and with Brock.

- Ronda Rousey comes out next to defend her Raw Women's Championship against "Lamb Led to Slaughter" Dana Brooke. (That's not her nickname, but she's about to become Lamb Chops anyways.) Dana is interviewed in the Gorilla position. She says all she has to do is be better than Ronda Rousey for 3 seconds to be the Raw Women's Champion.
Rousey absolutely destroys Dana Brooke and gets the armbar in for the quick tapout in 10 seconds. Brooke screams in pain. Rousey lets go of the move and pushes the referee down. Security tries to escort her out, and she takes him down. They go towards her husband, and he knocks one of them down. Rousey and her husband walk back through the crowd.

(Dana's promo lasted longer than that match. Rousey's heel turn has been magnificent so far. Even if she leaves for a while after WrestleMania, I'd love to see Rousey come back and lead the Horsewomen. I know I keep saying this, but THIS is the Rousey we should have been getting for a while.)

- Baron Corbin takes on Apollo Crews. Crews gets a nice moonsault off the apron on Corbin. But Corbin asserts control in the ring. And Baron Corbin gets caught mocking the fans who are still chanting "We Want Cena." He is rolled up 1-2-3. Apollo Crews wins a match on Raw.

(Again, this helps WrestleMania... HOW?  You have the man who Kurt Angle handpicked to wrestle his final match LOSE to a guy who Angle just beat last week? This show is making me want to go off on a Jim Cornette rant.)

- Batista is interviewed by Michael Cole in an obvious taped interview where Cole asks the questions live and Batista responds in a taped segment. Batista says all Triple H wanted from Batista was to be his muscle. Triple H uses people, and he used Batista. He held him down.  Batista goes off about Triple H being in his way, but Batista now makes the calls thanks to his hard work and fame in Hollywood. Triple H is a control freak. Batista wants Vince to fire Triple H. He's going to end Triple H's in-ring career. (The live crowd was chanting "CM PUNK" during all of this.)

(I think it's time we all admit it: WWE's fans are over Batista being in the ring. Everytime Batista comes back, the crowd just completely craps on him and treats him with disdain. The fans aren't going to treat this match any better at WrestleMania. This could be Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar all over again or, even worse, Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar "Beachball-Mania" level. Batista's promos haven't exactly done much to win over the audience either. Nor has Triple H's garbage "Everything else is fake, I'm the only real thing here" promos either.)

- Braun is interviewed backstage. He doesn't care what the SNL guys want. Braun is entering the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Alexa Bliss comes in and offers to broker a peace. Braun gives her one week. He's going to destroy them the next time they insult him.

- Drew McIntyre comes out before his big match with Seth Rollins and cuts a promo on Roman Reigns. Drew declares this as his yard. He addresses "Joe." He cuts a promo about Joe wanting to be the hero. He challenges Joe to a fight at WrestleMania. Joe better not except. "You may have beaten leukemia, but on The Grandest Stage of Them All, you will never beat me." Seth Rollins shows up on the screen and says that is why he attacked Drew earlier tonight.

Drew McIntyre and Seth meet up in the aisleway and go back and forth. Referees and agents try to break them up and get the match in the ring. After the break, Drew and Seth are going at it in the ring. McIntyre has the advantage on Rollins with a variation of head and neck locks. The fight goes to the floor, and Rollins misses a moonsault off the steps to McIntyre. And we get... yup... another commercial break.
We return from break to see Drew McIntyre continue to dominate the match. Rollins tries a Suicide Dive, but he gets caught and slammed down by Drew McIntyre. Drew goes to use a chair, but Seth hits a superkick on McIntyre. Both make it back in the ring by 9. Seth starts hitting Suicide Dives in insane speed at McIntyre. Sling Blade in the ring with a superkick. 2 count. (Wow. Rollins was on fire during that sequence.) McIntyre gets his Reverse Alabama Slam on Rollins for a 2 count. Both men fight on the top of the corner. Rollins climbs up and hits a Superplex into the Falcon Arrow. 1-2-Kickout!
"BURN IT DOWN" stomps. HERE COMES THE PAIN! Brock Lesnar comes out on the stage. Rollins stares at Brock and turns around. CLAYMORE KICK BY MCINTYRE!!!! 1-2-3! McIntyre wins!

(Very good match here between Rollins and McIntyre. Rollins loses nothing here as Lesnar distracted him from winning the match. Meanwhile, McIntyre can claim that he's beaten all of The Shield except for Roman at the moment. But all three have been beaten up by McIntyre.)

What I Liked
- Seth Rollins/Brock Lesnar/Drew McIntyre segment
- Ronda Rousey
- Balor/Strowman vs. Rush/Lashley (the match itself)
- Chad Gable getting to wrestle Kurt Angle
- Becky Lynch's Head and Shoulder ad.
- Drew McIntyre's promo on Roman Reigns
- Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre

What I Didn't Like
- Baron Corbin being Kurt Angle's opponent for WrestleMania.
- A Moment of Bliss
- Elias vs. No Way Jose
- Natalya vs. Sasha Banks (for being just completely useless)
- Commentary (Michael Cole was annoying several times tonight.)
- Finn Balor's smile.
- Baron Corbin vs. Apollo Crews
- Strowman/Balor vs. Lashley/Rush (the reason for it existing)
- Batista's "LIVE ( ;) )" interview.
- Anything involving the SNL "comedians"
- Chad Gable having to wrestle 2019 Kurt Angle.

Overall, I have to give this a slight thumbs down for all of the reasons listed above. It had its moments, but this edition of Raw seemed like another wasted opportunity. Please don't tell Hillbilly Jim I wrote "opportunity." I'd like to get some sleep tonight.

Until next time, take care of yourselves. Spread some awesomeness.

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