With WrestleMania within reach, Raw produces a lackluster program to build to its biggest show of the year.
Raw Thoughts (3/25/19)
- Michael Cole starts the show touting the historic Main Event announcement for WrestleMania: Becky vs. Charlotte vs. Ronda.
Speaking of Ronda, she's the first one out tonight. It's announced that there will be a "Beat The Clock" challenge with all three women facing members of The Riott Squad tonight.
Loud "WE WANT BECKY!" chants. The chants continue. Ronda tells everyone that they're welcome for the women main-eventing WrestleMania. Ronda promises to make Charlotte and Becky tap out at the same time at WrestleMania. Rousey doesn't care for this "Beat The Clock" challenge farce.
She's taking on Sarah Logan for her match.
Here comes Becky Lynch! No one gave a damn about Rousey in WWE until "The Man came around." She saved Ronda's title reign. This ends one way: her title above Becky's head and her head beneath Becky's foot.
Here comes Charlotte Flair. She also puts over the women being in the main event, but it's because of Charlotte. She was hand-picked to be the main event of WrestleMania.
Logan plays "runaway" with Rousey running around the ring after Logan. Logan catches Rousey running into the ring and gets the advantage. Rousey reverses a Reverse Cloverleaf and locks in the Armbar. 1:25 is Rousey's time. Rousey just walks to the stage afterwards.
Charlotte Flair is next as she faces Ruby Riott. She has to beat 1:25. Ruby keeps kicking and throwing Charlotte outside of the ring. Charlotte goes for Natural Selection, but she doesn't connect. Charlotte gets the Figure 8, but the clock expires before the tapout happens. Charlotte fails.
Lastly, it is Becky Lynch vs. Liv Morgan. But before that happens, Charlotte boots Becky Lynch down in the ring. The bell rings. Morgan goes on the attack and puts a chinlock on Lynch. Becky gets her off of her, and she starts rallying. Disarm-Her is avoided by Morgan. Lynch catches Morgan with a Jackknife pin. 1-2-3! With :07 left, Becky Lynch wins.
(I can't say I'm surprised to see The Riott Squad jobbed out like this. They aren't doing much going into WrestleMania, and the women in the main event of WrestleMania needed a bit more shine to help heat them up for the main event. Glad to see that the crowd was really on fire for this opening segment. As for The Riott Squad, is there a Women's Battle Royal this year? If so, they're perfect candidates.)
- Next, it's Finn Balor vs. Lio Rush and Bobby Lashley (again). If Balor wins, he gets a shot at the Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania. Rush comes out with Lashley and cuts a promo on Finn referencing Gronk's retirement. Rush says that he's too hurt to wrestle. Therefore, Jinder Mahal is taking his place.
(I think we all know whose shoulders will be on the mat for 3 seconds in this match.)
Michael Cole asks how Finn can beat a team of Lashley and Mahal. (I don't know. Does Finn have a pencil? That seems to work against Jinder lately.) Balor gets caught on the apron fighting off Rush and The Singh Brothers. Lashley sends him to the floor. Commercial Break.
We return to see Balor fight off Lashley. Jinder gets tagged in, but it's Balor who gets the "hot tag" offense in. Mahal knocks Lashley off the apron by accident. Balor knocks both men out of the ring. Balor dives out on everyone outside the ring. Coup de Grace in the ring. 1-2-3! Finn Balor pins Jinder Mahal, and he's going on to face Bobby Lashley for the Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania. Jinder and the Singh Brothers get beat up by Bobby Lashley afterwards.
(It gives Finn Balor something to do at WrestleMania. It's likely that Finn Balor regains the title at WrestleMania, probably thanks to the facepaint with the smoke and mirrors. As for Jinder, he's building a time machine to go back to 2017.)
- We get an Elias promo from Times Square hyping his musical performance at WrestleMania. He gets interrupted by a street performer.
- Aleister Black and Ricochet vs. The Revival is our next match.
(Michael Cole puts over that this is taking place in Boston, site of where the "Stone Cold Steve Austin" era began. He also praises the Austin-Michaels match... or as I've come to know it, the "Undertaker has taped fists behind the curtain if you refuse to do the honors" match.)
All four men start going at it immediately before any bell officially rings. The bell rings, and The Revival are able to isolate Black from Ricochet in the ring. Black gets to Ricochet after a moment and tags in Ricochet. Black and Ricochet dive out onto The Revival on the floor to take us to... a Commercial Break! Pizza Pizza!
We return from break to see Ricochet be beaten down by The Revival. Double Team Vertical Suplex by The Revival gets a 2. Ricochet gets a neckbreaker on Wilder.
Tags to Black and Dawson. Double Asai Moonsault by Black to The Revival. Black just massacres Dawson with a series of kicks and strikes. The Revival throw off Black's offense, and Dawson gets a DDT on Black for a 2 count. Wilder gets tagged in, as does Ricochet. Double Black Mass to The Revival. Ricochet hits his 630 on Wilder. 1-2-3.
The Revival demand that they be announced as STILL Raw Tag Team Champions.
(The Revival has done more jobs than Fed Ex lately. But Black and Ricochet continue to be booked strong on the main roster.)
- Drew McIntyre is out next. We get a recap of the last two weeks. He's taken out The Shield brothers already, including beating the #1 Contender Seth Rollins. He tells "Joe" that he needs to think about his children. They've already seen "Daddy" fight for his life once. Why make them do it again, especially since he's going to lose? Drew says he's going to hold Raw hostage until Roman comes out. Roman comes out immediately during that last sentence.
Roman and Drew stare off face to face. "Roman" accepts the challenge. "Joe" tells Drew never to run his mouth about his wife and kids. He attacks McIntyre viciously in the ring and launches him into the ring post. They go to the outside, with Reigns continuing to beat down on McIntyre. Reigns gets back in the ring, but he gets the Nakamura Special to the Samoan Jewels. Claymore Kick!
(C Dub says this is going to be a great match at WrestleMania. Chris says "This pseudo-reality garbage is really annoying." Seriously, I get the fact that CM Punk changed the game in terms of the shoot promo, but not every heated promo needs to be "Joe" or "Paul" or "Phil" says this. I'm sick of it. It just demeans everything else when you try to blur that line just to pop a rating.)
Dean Ambrose confronts Drew backstage. Dean doesn't feel "exterminated" (as Drew had said earlier). Dean wants a "Last Man Standing" match tonight. Drew says he doesn't know how Dean is still standing, but after tonight, he won't be.
- Sasha Banks (w/ Bayley) takes on Natalya (w/Beth Phoenix) next. Natalya and Sasha have a basic little match. Natalya breaks out a Surfboard, and Sasha gets a running Meteora on Natalya. Sharpshooter attempt by Natalya sends her to the floor when Sasha kicks her off. Commercial break. Natalya uses her power to mandhandle Sasha, but Sasha catches Natalya in the Bank Statement. Natalya rolls through and gets the Sharpshooter on Banks. Sasha rolls under and sends Natalya's head bouncing against the mat. Tamina and Nia come out and beat the heck out of everyone in the ring and outside. Beth Phoenix fights off Tamina and Nia. Beth gets the Glam Slam on Tamina. Loud "You've Still Got It" for Beth.
(Can we just make the match already? As for Beth Phoenix, she's looking like the old Beth Phoenix. Now, let's see her work a match.)
- We get the announcement for The Hart Foundation (Anvil and Bret Tag Team) going into the Hall of Fame. I wrote (briefly) about this on the Facebook page. Natalya is shown crying in the ring and hugged by Beth Phoenix. She's crying and pointing up at the sky for her father.
(That just makes the whole thing for me.)
- Kurt Angle is interviewed backstage. Angle mentions that Samoa Joe presents a challenge. Baron Corbin comes in and thanks Kurt for selecting him. The fans are cheering him because he's a joke. He's half the man that he used to be. Corbin talks smack, and Angle says "Screw You."
- Sasha and Bayley are interviewed backstage. Sasha and Bayley want to face The IIconics, Beth and Natalya, and Nia and Tamina at the same time at WrestleMania.
- A Moment of Bliss is next with ....
(Christ, No.)
The SNL guys and Braun Strowman.
This is happening in the ring. Alexa takes credit for the Women's Main Event At WrestleMania. She then shows highlights from the Strowman vs. SNL bits from Raw the last few weeks. Braun is out first wearing a new shirt that says "I'm Proof That The Bigger They Are, They Harder They Fall... Down The Card." Ok. I made that up, but that might as well be a T-Shirt at this point.
Braun is interviewed about the last few weeks. He promises to hurt the SNL guys. The SNL guys are on the titantron from the SNL set. Jost puts a Yankees hat on for the cheap heat (seeing as the show is taking place in Boston). Jost wants to teach Braun how to chew food, read a newspaper, or do his taxes. He then cuts some more jokes about Braun's size. Jost wants money back for what he paid for the car Braun destroyed. Braun wants Colin Jost in the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, or he'll find him sometime backstage. The other guy (I'm sorry people. I don't watch SNL, nor do I really care about either of these guys or this angle) accepts for Colin. Colin volunteers the other guy in. Alexa makes it official as "the host of WrestleMania."
(Thank God that is over. I hate this angle and everything it stands for. I also hate A Moment of Bliss. This was torture to watch.)
- Elias is shown outside of MSG. (I guess he's wanting tickets for the ROH/NJPW G1 Supercard for WrestleMania weekend. Otherwise, he might be listening to another 1 hour speech on making the best out of your "Opportunity" when Hillbilly Jim storms the stage.) Someone tips Elias a quarter.
- Speaking of things I hate, Baron Corbin comes out with a ridiculously long intro. Our next match is Baron Corbin vs. Apollo Crews. We return to see Crews trying to roll-up Corbin quickly to get another shock victory. Crews dumps Corbin to the floor and hits the moonsault from the apron to the floor. But Corbin throws Crews into the ring post. Corbin continues the attack in the ring. Apollo gets a Enziguri and Frog Splash on Corbin. 2 count only. Moments later, Corbin gets End of Days on Crews. 1-2-3.
(50/50 booking once again rears its ugly head as we continue the push towards Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle at WrestleMania. )
After the match, Corbin gets End of Days on Crews again.
- It is announced that The Riott Squad will face Charlotte, Becky Lynch, and Ronda Rousey next week.
- Seth Rollins comes out next to talk about his match against Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania in 13 days.
Seth talks about not being from the same cloth that Brock Lesnar is. Their match is about "the future of the business." Seth wants to be a champion to inspire people like Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Ric Flair, Triple H, and John Cena. Seth Rollins says all anyone wants is for Seth to "Slay The Beast" and beat Brock Lesnar. Seth HAS to beat Brock Lesnar to keep Lesnar from defining the future. Seth promises that with his army (the WWE Universe) that he's going to march to the gates of Suplex City and Burn...
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Here's Paul Heyman. He's in Boston to say "Thank You" to Seth Rollins. The match at WrestleMania is a "Handicap Match" with Brock Lesnar taking on Seth Rollins and the WWE Universe. Brock is guaranteed to win. Seth needs the fan's affirmation. Paul cuts a promo about Seth being typical of his generation, needing "thoughts and prayers." Seth doesn't have a thought or a prayer of beating Brock Lesnar. Paul wants Seth to take it personally when he loses at WrestleMania. Seth runs up after Heyman. Heyman falls on the floor and begs Seth not to hurt him. Seth says he doesn't need thoughts and prayers. He's going to answer them by going to Suplex City and burning it down.
Kurt Angle comes out and has the crowd yell "YOU SUCK!" at Paul Heyman.
(More talk. I've heard this promo before. Thankfully, this is being pushed back down the card. The heat simply is not there. They tried hard last week, but that last segment last week somewhat killed the desire to see that match in any prominent position at WrestleMania.)
- The next match is Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle. Joe promises to put Angle to sleep one last time. Joe and Michael Cole both reference the TNA rivalry (not by name) over the years. Joe just attacks and assaults Kurt in the ring. Angle goes to do a German Suplex, but Joe stops it. Joe throws Kurt outside and hits the Suicide Dive to Angle on the floor. Commercial Break.
We return to see Joe continuing the assault on Angle around the ring. Angle finally gets some German Suplexes on Joe. 2 count only. Angle Slam avoided. Inverted Atomic Drop, Kick, and a Senton by Joe. 2 count only. Angle Slam connects. Joe kicks out at 2. Ankle Lock avoided. Snap Slam by Joe. 2 count. Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, but Angle gets a Missile Dropkick instead. Angle Slam avoided. Urinage avoided. Clutch is put on Angle. Angle refuses to fade away. He rolls Joe onto his back and gets the 3.
(God, this is so sad to see. Angle can hardly wrestle anymore, and Joe was trying hard to make the match look good. Angle is supposed to face AJ Styles tomorrow night, and I don't think any of us should be getting our hopes up. Nothing but respect for Kurt Angle, but he really shouldn't be even wrestling on the main card of WrestleMania in all honesty. Ric Flair at 59 looked better than Kurt Angle does at 50.)
- Triple H comes out next to do some more shoot promo stuff. He congratulates the women for main eventing WrestleMania. Batista's lawyer sent Triple H a letter saying that he will not be wrestling unless Triple H adds another stipulation. Triple H cuts a promo on Batista's complaints and goes after them item by item. Triple H even mocks the "Spice Girls" reading the letter. Batista wants Triple H's career on the line at WrestleMania. Triple H will not let Batista quit. He doesn't give a damn about him. All Triple H wants is to kick Batista's ass. If he can't "beat a self-deluted douchebag" like Batista, he doesn't deserve to be in the ring anyways. Triple H agrees to the stipulation.
(Oh boy. Triple H is putting his career on the line. Oh my God. I just can't wait to see this match. It's the greatest Wrest.... I'm sorry. I can't complete that. This whole match just screams filler. There's nothing to it that gets me interested at this point. They killed it after the initial Batista dragging Ric Flair backstage segment. From that point on, it's been downhill. Let's just get the Pedigree and 3 count down and over with already. Batista is getting The Sting Treatment at WrestleMania. Yeah. I went there.)
- Elias is now on some side street in New York City. A lot of money is left in his guitar case, but it is stolen on camera by some guy. Elias is ok with it as he plans to make a lot more at WrestleMania. The same guy comes over and steals the guitar case while Elias plays the night away.
( So done with anything Elias is doing on TV. These segments have been more annoying than anything tonight. NEXT!)
- The main event (Thank God) is Drew McIntyre taking on Dean Ambrose in a Last Man Standing Match. Ambrose dives off the ring post to McIntyre on the floor, but McIntyre avoids it. Ambrose makes it back up by 7.
We return to see McIntyre work over Ambrose with a Kendo Stick in the ring. Outside the ring, McIntyre gets the Glasgow Kiss on Ambrose followed wtih a catapult up into the iron bars beneath the ring. Steel steps to the head by McIntyre. Back in the ring, McIntyre is sent head first into a steel chair. Dirty Deeds by Ambrose. Ambrose then goes to work on McIntyre in the ring. Table is brought into the ring, but McIntyre puts Ambrose through that table once Dean sets it up. Claymore Kick! 10 count. It's over.
(A good enough main event here. Again, the main idea is to make Drew McIntyre look credible for a match against Roman Reigns. They've done a good job since Fastlane making Drew McIntyre look credible. Ambrose continues to not phone it in on his "final" matches with the company.)
What I Liked
- The Ongoing Focus on The Main Event of WrestleMania- Good to see Charlotte, Becky, and Ronda get attention at the beginning of the show. It was also good to see others comment on the match throughout the show.
- McIntyre vs. Ambrose- McIntyre continues to look strong going into WrestleMania. And this had enough hard-hitting spots in it to serve its purpose.
What I Didn't Like
- Same Old Song and Dance- Many segments felt like retreads from previous weeks.
- A Moment of Bliss/SNL vs. Braun- Watch the SNL guy win the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal.
- Bad Shooting- Sick of these bad "shoot" promos from many of the talking heads tonight. Let's stay in-universe, shall we? We can't all be CM Punk or Deadpool.
- Angle vs. Joe - This was just sad on so many levels.
- Sasha vs. Natalya- This was just there to me. And I wasn't exactly a fan of having to sit through that just to get to the interference again.
This was a "meh" episode of Raw. But I'd be lying if my thumb wasn't angling down instead of up. While this WrestleMania has some gems on the card, WWE is doing a lousy job in promoting several of its matches. Thankfully some of the matches don't need much hype to keep them going. But still, it doesn't make sitting through a 3 hour show any easier. Next week should be an interesting "go-home" show for Raw going into WrestleMania.
We continue to hit speed bumps, road blocks, and oil slicks on the final stretch to WrestleMania. Hopefully next week will merit the investment many of us have made in this build.
Until next time, take care of yourselves. Spread some awesomeness.
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