Welcome to the Bash at the Beach 1996 Review. Before we get started, a programming note: There will be no discussion on the best matches this week as I was not able to get that off the ground. Instead, I'm focusing on something I didn't know was coming up: the 22nd Anniversary of the formation of the nWo. Without further ado...
Bash at the Beach 1996
- Bobby, Tony, and Dusty start us off with a discussion on the show, putting over the importance of the main event. Who is The Third Man?
1) Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
- Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio should be amazing as most of their matches are great (ECW and other WCW matches come to mind).
- Given that all Rey Mysterio has done in wrestling before and since this event, it's a miracle that, in his 40s, he's still producing high quality work.
- Brain: "One of them has hair like Ted Bundy." Insightful commentary, as always, by the Brain. "I guess you can't buy these masks anywhere like the bank or 7-Eleven?"
- Slow start between the two wrestlers.
- SUICIDE DIVE by Psicosis to Rey on the outside that drilled his own head into the guard rail. OUCH!
- Psicosis's Guillotine Leg Drop is still cool to see all these years later.
- Brain: "Rey Mysterio is a legend in San Diego. In fact, many people refer to him as the original San Diego Chicken."
- Rey Mysterio hits a hurricanrana on Psicosis on the outside!
- This makes a lot of us feel old: Rey is 21 at this time. Psicosis is 25.
- Rey hits the West Coast Pop in the ring, but he only gets a 2.
- Both wrestlers are using a slower pace and ground wrestling in the match which is helping tell the story better than a 5 minute match on TV.
- Psicosis has Rey laying on the outside, jumps off the top turnbuckle, and lands a SICK senton on the outside on Rey!
- Later, Rey hits a hurricanrana to Psicosis that flips him off the apron and smacks his body on the floor! What a match! (If this match were in 2018, the THIS IS AWESOME and FIGHT FOREVER chants would be deafening.)
- REY hits an Asai Moonsault onto Psicosis on the outside but clips his knee against the top of the guard rail!
- Rey goes for the West Coast Pop, but Psicosis nails a POWERBOMB for a 2.
- Psicosis goes for a Razor's Edge/Splash Mountain off the top rope, but Rey reverses it into a TOP ROPE FRANKENSTEINER! 1-2-3!!!!!
Winner: Rey Mysterio Jr.
Match Grade: A+. EXCELLENT MATCH!!!! Go out of your way to check this out as it is a perfect example of how awesome Rey Mysterio and Psicosis are together. Phew!
- Mean Gene is interviewing Konnan, the U.S. Champion, about his travel from Mexico and his match against Ric Flair later.
2) Carson City Silver Dollar Match
Big Bubba (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. John Tenta (aka the artist formerly known as Earthquake, Avalanche, or Shark)
- The sack of silver dollars is hung up by a pole in the right top corner of the ring (camera view). Whomever climbs the pole and gets the sack can use it to attack his opponent. Get that? Ok. Who booked this? Vince Russo?!
- This is the complete opposite of what we just saw. MUCH slower paced and a lot less entertaining.
- Bubba nails an atomic drop on Tenta as he tries to climb up the pole. That's impressive even if he's a big dude himself.
- Half of Tenta's hair is missing. Either he was shaved earlier as part of an angle I missed or someone really needed to tell Ed Leslie to stop cutting people's hair backstage.
- Tenta goes to work on the pole itself trying to unstrap it from the ring post. Smart move if you are a big dude actually.
- Bubba tries to choke Tenta with a leather belt. Later he tapes Tenta's arm to the middle rope and goes to work with punches and belt shots.
- Bubba apparently did cut Tenta's hair earlier. He tries to do it again. But Tenta gives him an uppercut downstairs and cuts himself loose with the scissors.
- Bubba later tells JIMMY HART to go up and get the bag!! And he's climbing! Lol. But when he gets down with the bag, TENTA is there waiting to take it from him!!!! WHAM! Tenta nails Bubba with it. 1-2-3!
Winner: John Tenta
Match Rating: C-. I enjoyed the match for what it was. It was a fun quick gimmick match to sell an undercard storyline. I can't hate on it. Hats off to the 52 year old Jimmy Hart for climbing that pole as quickly as he did.
- Luger, Savage, and Sting are with Mean Gene all wearing Sting facepaint. Savage: We're gonna take 'em out! OOOH YEAH!
Luger: "I'm going to make the point. See my finger and thumb draw the line."
Sting: "The unknown gives me goosebumps. We are a team! The WWE is an unknown. And when I get there, I'm going to job to Paul Levesque just like EVERY other WCW guy on this roster if they want a job!"
3) Lord of the Ring Match/Taped Fist Match
DDP vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
- Oh boy. Where to begin? DDP still has more gimmicks than Ed Leslie did in WCW. Hacksaw is showing his age around this point. And they're fighting over The One Ring that no midcarder or main eventer really wants. Only in the fiery chasm of Mount AOL Time Warner can this abomination be unmade.
- Crowd is definitely reacting to the match than the first two matches. Duggan was still over at this time. I'll give him that.
- Tony: "The ring is one of the most prized possessions in the history of this sport." Dear God. I wonder if that's what Lois said to him when they got married. Lol.
- Good brawl so far. But with Duggan, can you expect any less? DDP is selling all over the place for Duggan's offense (taking dives outide, doing the Terry Funk rope sit back and forth sell, and a turnbuckle saddling to boot)
- DIAMOND CUTTER while Duggan is getting back in the ring. 1-2-3! Duggan beats him up more after the match though.
Winner: DDP
Match Rating: F+. I just didn't like this match very much. The crowd was into it, and that's why I'm not giving it a complete F- or ABYSMAL rating.
- The Giant, The Taskmaster, and Jimmy Hart (who Mean Gene calls a "little twerp" in a pot-calling-the-kettle-black moment) are interviewed. The Giant declares The Taskmaster is NOT the weak link of the Dungeon of Doom and that he's wanting to make horse stew out of the Horsemen.
- Lee Marshall (He's GRRRREAT!) is with Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit. Arn spends part of the promo selling The Outsiders getting beaten up by Team WCW tonight. Arn then focuses on the Dungeon of Doom: "Giant, when we chop you in half, you'll only be 3 foot 6." God, I love Arn Anderson. Monotone promo, no yelling, and just plain awesome delivery. He's even wearing eyeglasses for this promo and still looks like the baddest dude of the Horsemen.
4) Four Man Dog-Collar Match
Public Enemy vs. The Nasty Boys
- This is going to be another brawl on this show. Not that I'm complaining. The Nasty Boys are great at team brawls. Their theme in WCW is still God-Awful though. Listen to it on YouTube. It's not quite American Males awful, but it makes a good case for itself.
- And there's the classic WCW double camera shot. Carnage, engage! Trash cans, aluminum pans, INFLATABLE RUBBER SHARK???!!!!
- They're fighting near the entrance area at the surf area. SURFBOARD!!! SURFBOARD! SURFBOARD!!! Referee counts 2 on the surfboard. They're jumping off the lifeguard chair and bodyslamming each other on the "boardwalk" entrance ramp.
- Like I said, these two teams are good brawlers. And they're living up to their reputation.
- Public Enemy sets up the table, but one of them with the Nasty Boys gets tied up on the table!
- PILEDRIVER on concrete. Yet miraculously they get up to continue the match. I can't imagine how. :)
- They got back into the ring! Saggs is on a table. He gets up, pulls the chain, and Rocco Rock takes a nasty bump on the table. It does not give an inch!!!! OUCH!
- Saggs tries to elbow drop Rock through the table. Again, it does not give!!!!!!
- Knobbs has Grunge hanging over the top rope. They use a chain to clothesline Rocco Rock. 1-2-3.
- The Nastys win but Public Enemy attack them after the match. Saggs is through a table when the camera finally gets around to showing them.
Winners: The Nasty Boys
Match Rating: C. It was a garbage match in every way possible. But it was somewhat entertaining, and both teams did what people expected them to do. So, I'm saying C average.
- Mean Gene is at The Outsiders locker room which is surrounded by police officers. Lol.
5) WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Disco Inferno vs. Dean Malenko (c)
- DISCO FEVER! DISCO FEVER! DISCO FEVER! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH! Lol. That theme is still ridiculous and awesome.
- Dean Malenko just walks out with intensity. You couldn't ask for two different entrances from two wrestlers.
- Malenko goes to work immediately on Disco, taking him to the outside and throwing him against the guard rail and the ring post.
- Dusty: "He (Malenko) must never have liked to dance when he was a kid."
- Dean hits a great looking brainbuster on Disco for a good 2 count.
- Dean continues to dominate the opening moments of the match, focusing on the leg with heel hooks, half-crabs, and an STF.
- DISCO finally responds with some punches and gets fired up.
- Dean throws Disco outside and into the guard rail. Then, he regains control back in the ring with some sort of double arm submission maneuver.
- Disco again makes a comeback. Crowd is not buying this match at all. Or should I say no one is buying Disco beating Malenko in this match.
- Malenko nails a butterfly powerbomb and locks in the Texas Death Lock for the submission.
Winner: Dean Malenko
Rating: D+. No one was buying this match at all. Disco was nowhere near Dean's level at this point, and Dean did most of the work in carrying Disco to a watchable match.
6) Joe Gomez vs. Steve "Mongo" McMichael (w/ Queen Debra)
- Debra is walking out with a POODLE for God's sakes!
- Who the hell is Joe Gomez to get a PPV match? I mean, this is about 3 minutes in, and it feels like a match more suited for Nitro or WCW Saturday Night (probably more).
- Brain: "COME ON 76!!!! HIKE HIKE!!!!" (76 being Mongo's number with "Da Bears.")
- God, this is a sloppy match. Gomez barely connects with any dropkicks, and Mongo badly botches a rollup by just sitting on Gomez and then with little effort then backs up to sell the rollup attempt. UGH.
Winner: Mongo
Match Rating: F-. Debra was ringside. I can't call it outright abysmal.
- Mean Gene is backstage with Elizabeth, Woman, and Ric Flair. Flair cuts an insane promo saying "La Cock-a-racha" over and over again. Woman sells wanting Gene to be invited to a private party. Funny promo here.
7) U.S. Heavyweight Championship
Konnan (c) vs. Ric Flair (w/Woman and Elizabeth)
- How do you get the bad match out of your mind? You bring out Ric Flair, Elizabeth, and Woman to make you forget the whole thing. WOOOOO!
- Flair shakes Konnan's hand before the match and then proceeds later to do the classic "hands through the hair and strut."
- Flair and Konnan do a good back and forth to start off the match.
- Flair, in his mid 40s around this time, was still one of the greatest wrestlers in the world at this time. Bret Hart often berated Ric Flair for wrestling his same match for 30 years and just being average at best. I disagree. (Bret, one of the all-time greats himself, is guilty of having a bag of tricks in every one of his matches too.) Flair's ability to use his style, mold it to whomever he was wrestling, and put over the talent he was working against to make them look better than they did before the match (even if they lost to him) makes him one of the all-time greats.
- Flair is selling a lot of Konnan here including taking a surfboard type move, doing his backdrops, and taking a dive from Konnan. (Side note: Elizabeth and Woman got clipped by Konnan's dive. Liz got up immediately and you could tell Flair was concerned by whispering to her pretty soon afterwards.)
- Woman!!!! She kicked Konnan in the jewels while Flair had the referee distracted! Later, Liz has the referee distracted. Flair throws Konnan over the top rope. And Woman continues the attack!!!
- FLAIR does the upside down in the turnbuckle later. Konnan catches him with a springboard dropkick in the corner!
- KONNAN drop-toe-holds Flair and gets him in his own FIGURE 4!!!! Flair gets to the ropes.
- Flair and Konnan had a couple awkward moments towards the end where they didn't find a rhythm.
- Elizabeth distracts the referee while Flair and Konnan continue to have awkward wrestling. Then, Flair goes to make sure the referee is distracted. WOMAN nails Konnan with a heeled shoe, knocking him out. Flair covers. 1-2-3.
Winner and NEW United States Heavyweight Champion: Ric Flair
Match Grade: C-. There were some good moments in the match, but there seemed to be some major miscommunication between the two. Woman might as well have been the third wrestler in the match.
Mean Gene was in the back saying he heard a 3rd voice in The Outsiders' locker room. He couldn't tell who it was. Heenan suggests bribing one of the police officers to see if they can tell him who the 3rd man is.
8) The Giant/The Taskmaster (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit
** If Arn and Benoit win, they get Flair a world title shot at The Giant the next night on Nitro.
- The Giant and The Taskmaster jump Arn and Benoit from behind before they even make it to the ring. It's ON! Taskmaster uses a regular non-folding chair on Arn. Mongo nails Giant with a briefcase, which The Giant no-sells. Giant chases Mongo to the back. Taskmaster is being worked on by Benoit and Arn. Giant gets back to the ring. The bell finally rings.
- Benoit and Taskmaster are fighting back and forth. Considering Benoit had an affair with Sullivan's wife, Woman, at the time, this was definitely blurring the lines of reality and script.
- So far, The Taskmaster has been taking all the offense from Arn and Benoit. The story is obviously that once The Giant gets in the match, it's game over.
- Bad spot where Arn and Taskmaster mixed up a catapult into the turnbuckle. Arn had to dive into it after stopping for a second on his feet.
- THE GIANT IS IN! Arn and The Giant are wrestling in the ring. Benoit and The Taskmaster are fighting in the stands. CHOKESLAM on Arn! 1-2-3. Giant and Taskmaster win. Benoit DIVES on Taskmaster from the announce position to the entrance area. They are coming back to the ring. The Giant has left the area. Benoit executes a back suplex on Taskmaster. Here comes Woman, yelling for Chris to stop kicking Sullivan. God, this is uncomfortable for a LOT of reasons in hindsight. The Giant comes back in to chase off Benoit and Woman. Giant just picks up Sullivan like a rag doll and carries him over his shoulder.
Winners: The Giant and The Taskmaster
Match Grade: D. It was ok. But the match was very uncomfortable to watch. Plus, there were a couple awkward spots in there to boot.
9) The HOSTILE TAKEOVER
Team Outsiders (Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and ????) vs. Team WCW (Lex Luger, Sting, and Macho Man Randy Savage)
- They replay a montage of the actions of The Outsiders up to this point, including the wicked powerbomb to Bischoff off the stage through the tables a month prior.
- Michael Buffer is here for the introductions and the money. Probably more about the money. "WCW fans, are you ready?" "HELL NO!" (Just kidding. They cheer like crazy.) "Let's get ready to PAY ME!!!!!"
- Here come Hall and Nash to a pretty good ovation from the audience. There's only 2 of them, which Buffer even notes. The announcers are going nuts, demanding they reveal the 3rd man now.
- WCW plays Sting's theme, but the music stops. And Gene Okerlund is in the aisle, looking around like "Am I doing this or not?" Lol. He comes into the ring finally and asks The Outsiders why there isn't a 3rd man in the ring. Hall says he's in the arena. Nash says "We have enough to handle this right now."
- Finally here comes Team WCW. (For future reference, all three of these guys would be part of the nWo at one point or another over the next two years. Actually, all three were members of nWo Wolfpac with Kevin Nash in 1998.)
- Early on, Lex gets knocked out. When Luger is over the top rope being worked on by Nash in The Outsider corner, Sting does his Stinger Splash into that corner, knocking Luger off the top rope and to the outside. Cue the "medical personnel and gurney" to take Luger out of the match. The Outsiders try to fight the "medical personnel" to get to Luger. Lol. It's now 2 on 2 now.
- Hall slaps Sting in the face, and it's on!!!! Savage gets tagged in quickly after. Savage looks like a KISS fan who wanted to color their face because The Grateful Dead was playing that same evening. Lol.
- Ouch moment when Nash goes for an elbow drop, Savage sits up barely, and Savage takes the bump very badly. Savage tags out to Sting, and Nash continues his offense with Sting taking it insteaed of Savage.
- GOOD match so far as the novelty of seeing invading (former) WWF guys versus WCW talent was still a novelty. The announcers are putting over the match too with overdramatic commentary and realistic emotion.
- Hall and Sting are dominating the match for a good 4-5 minutes. Nash comes in eventually to deliver a sidewalk slam. Sting is doing a great job selling during this period of Outsider offense.
- TONY: "RANDY SAVAGE IS IN, AND HE'S NUTS!!!!"
- Savage dives off the top rope and delivers an ax-handle to Hall on the outside, throws him back in, and delivers it again on the inside. Nash lowblows Savage.
- HERE COMES HULK HOGAN! HERE WE GO!!!!!
- Brain: "WHO'S SIDE IS HE ON?"
- HOGAN DROPS THE LEG on Randy Savage, betraying WCW, joining The Outsiders, forming the nWo, and becoming (perhaps) the biggest heel in wrestling history.
- He covers Savage and Hall counts the victory. It doesn't count. But who's standing at the end of this? Hogan, Hall and Nash!
Winners: Match was thrown out
Match Grade: B for the match/A for everything surrounding it including what's about to happen.
TRASH is being thrown in the ring. Here comes Mean Gene to interview Hogan in the ring as trash continues to be thrown in the ring. Hogan tells the crowd to shut up if they want to hear from him. "You can call this the NEW WORLD ORDER, BROTHER!" He goes on to detail how Hall and Nash came from up North, and who knows more about that organization up north than he does? He became bigger than that whole organization, and when he came down to Billionare Ted's organization, Ted Turner made promises he never kept. He's bored, brother! So, he's partnering up with "The New Blood" to destroy everything in their path. All this trash represents these fans. He did everything for the fans and for the charities. And for the reception he got coming out and for them turning their back on him, they can "stick it." Hogan then cuts a promo on the whole locker room saying he was selling out arenas while they were bumming gas to get to high school. Hogan, Hall, and Nash continue to mock pose to the audience as trash and boos continue to pour down from the audience.
Tony Schiavone: "Hulk Hogan, you can go to hell. We're out of here. Straight to hell."
And we go to credits.
This was an amazing promo and moment everyone. Check it out. I'm not doing it justice. This is, in my opinion, the single greatest moment in WCW history. They had several other big things that happened later: Sting vs. Hogan, Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro, botching the broadcast of Halloween Havoc 1998 badly, and the Fingerpoke of Doom further killing the company. But this changed EVERYTHING. The nWo cemented an 83 weeks-in-a- row ratings win for WCW over WWF and expansion of the company to the point where Vince almost went bankrupt. The nWo concept was legitimately awesome even if bad booking and internal politics helped cause it to lose its momentum over time. But on this anniversary of the group's formation, let's remember how cool this was when it started and the great moments that came from this.
Event Rating: *** out of *****. This is almost a repeat of what I thought of WCW Uncensored 1997. The opening was great between Psicosis and Rey Mysterio Jr. And the main event was excellent here with a very solid in-ring match and an excellent story being told throughout the evening, culminating in Hulk Hogan's heel turn and perhaps greatest promo ever. The rest of the show was unfortunately not very memorable. There were some decent matches in there, but there were also a lot of terrible, boring, or skippable matches in there as well.
Hope you enjoyed this review. Comment on this if you have any thoughts, good or bad, about this... or if you just want to give me a "Too Sweet!"
Until next time, take care of yourselves and spread some awesomeness.
Bash at the Beach 1996
- Bobby, Tony, and Dusty start us off with a discussion on the show, putting over the importance of the main event. Who is The Third Man?
1) Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
- Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio should be amazing as most of their matches are great (ECW and other WCW matches come to mind).
- Given that all Rey Mysterio has done in wrestling before and since this event, it's a miracle that, in his 40s, he's still producing high quality work.
- Brain: "One of them has hair like Ted Bundy." Insightful commentary, as always, by the Brain. "I guess you can't buy these masks anywhere like the bank or 7-Eleven?"
- Slow start between the two wrestlers.
- SUICIDE DIVE by Psicosis to Rey on the outside that drilled his own head into the guard rail. OUCH!
- Psicosis's Guillotine Leg Drop is still cool to see all these years later.
- Brain: "Rey Mysterio is a legend in San Diego. In fact, many people refer to him as the original San Diego Chicken."
- Rey Mysterio hits a hurricanrana on Psicosis on the outside!
- This makes a lot of us feel old: Rey is 21 at this time. Psicosis is 25.
- Rey hits the West Coast Pop in the ring, but he only gets a 2.
- Both wrestlers are using a slower pace and ground wrestling in the match which is helping tell the story better than a 5 minute match on TV.
- Psicosis has Rey laying on the outside, jumps off the top turnbuckle, and lands a SICK senton on the outside on Rey!
- Later, Rey hits a hurricanrana to Psicosis that flips him off the apron and smacks his body on the floor! What a match! (If this match were in 2018, the THIS IS AWESOME and FIGHT FOREVER chants would be deafening.)
- REY hits an Asai Moonsault onto Psicosis on the outside but clips his knee against the top of the guard rail!
- Rey goes for the West Coast Pop, but Psicosis nails a POWERBOMB for a 2.
- Psicosis goes for a Razor's Edge/Splash Mountain off the top rope, but Rey reverses it into a TOP ROPE FRANKENSTEINER! 1-2-3!!!!!
Winner: Rey Mysterio Jr.
Match Grade: A+. EXCELLENT MATCH!!!! Go out of your way to check this out as it is a perfect example of how awesome Rey Mysterio and Psicosis are together. Phew!
- Mean Gene is interviewing Konnan, the U.S. Champion, about his travel from Mexico and his match against Ric Flair later.
2) Carson City Silver Dollar Match
Big Bubba (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. John Tenta (aka the artist formerly known as Earthquake, Avalanche, or Shark)
- The sack of silver dollars is hung up by a pole in the right top corner of the ring (camera view). Whomever climbs the pole and gets the sack can use it to attack his opponent. Get that? Ok. Who booked this? Vince Russo?!
- This is the complete opposite of what we just saw. MUCH slower paced and a lot less entertaining.
- Bubba nails an atomic drop on Tenta as he tries to climb up the pole. That's impressive even if he's a big dude himself.
- Half of Tenta's hair is missing. Either he was shaved earlier as part of an angle I missed or someone really needed to tell Ed Leslie to stop cutting people's hair backstage.
- Tenta goes to work on the pole itself trying to unstrap it from the ring post. Smart move if you are a big dude actually.
- Bubba tries to choke Tenta with a leather belt. Later he tapes Tenta's arm to the middle rope and goes to work with punches and belt shots.
- Bubba apparently did cut Tenta's hair earlier. He tries to do it again. But Tenta gives him an uppercut downstairs and cuts himself loose with the scissors.
- Bubba later tells JIMMY HART to go up and get the bag!! And he's climbing! Lol. But when he gets down with the bag, TENTA is there waiting to take it from him!!!! WHAM! Tenta nails Bubba with it. 1-2-3!
Winner: John Tenta
Match Rating: C-. I enjoyed the match for what it was. It was a fun quick gimmick match to sell an undercard storyline. I can't hate on it. Hats off to the 52 year old Jimmy Hart for climbing that pole as quickly as he did.
- Luger, Savage, and Sting are with Mean Gene all wearing Sting facepaint. Savage: We're gonna take 'em out! OOOH YEAH!
Luger: "I'm going to make the point. See my finger and thumb draw the line."
Sting: "The unknown gives me goosebumps. We are a team! The WWE is an unknown. And when I get there, I'm going to job to Paul Levesque just like EVERY other WCW guy on this roster if they want a job!"
3) Lord of the Ring Match/Taped Fist Match
DDP vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
- Oh boy. Where to begin? DDP still has more gimmicks than Ed Leslie did in WCW. Hacksaw is showing his age around this point. And they're fighting over The One Ring that no midcarder or main eventer really wants. Only in the fiery chasm of Mount AOL Time Warner can this abomination be unmade.
- Crowd is definitely reacting to the match than the first two matches. Duggan was still over at this time. I'll give him that.
- Tony: "The ring is one of the most prized possessions in the history of this sport." Dear God. I wonder if that's what Lois said to him when they got married. Lol.
- Good brawl so far. But with Duggan, can you expect any less? DDP is selling all over the place for Duggan's offense (taking dives outide, doing the Terry Funk rope sit back and forth sell, and a turnbuckle saddling to boot)
- DIAMOND CUTTER while Duggan is getting back in the ring. 1-2-3! Duggan beats him up more after the match though.
Winner: DDP
Match Rating: F+. I just didn't like this match very much. The crowd was into it, and that's why I'm not giving it a complete F- or ABYSMAL rating.
- The Giant, The Taskmaster, and Jimmy Hart (who Mean Gene calls a "little twerp" in a pot-calling-the-kettle-black moment) are interviewed. The Giant declares The Taskmaster is NOT the weak link of the Dungeon of Doom and that he's wanting to make horse stew out of the Horsemen.
- Lee Marshall (He's GRRRREAT!) is with Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit. Arn spends part of the promo selling The Outsiders getting beaten up by Team WCW tonight. Arn then focuses on the Dungeon of Doom: "Giant, when we chop you in half, you'll only be 3 foot 6." God, I love Arn Anderson. Monotone promo, no yelling, and just plain awesome delivery. He's even wearing eyeglasses for this promo and still looks like the baddest dude of the Horsemen.
4) Four Man Dog-Collar Match
Public Enemy vs. The Nasty Boys
- This is going to be another brawl on this show. Not that I'm complaining. The Nasty Boys are great at team brawls. Their theme in WCW is still God-Awful though. Listen to it on YouTube. It's not quite American Males awful, but it makes a good case for itself.
- And there's the classic WCW double camera shot. Carnage, engage! Trash cans, aluminum pans, INFLATABLE RUBBER SHARK???!!!!
- They're fighting near the entrance area at the surf area. SURFBOARD!!! SURFBOARD! SURFBOARD!!! Referee counts 2 on the surfboard. They're jumping off the lifeguard chair and bodyslamming each other on the "boardwalk" entrance ramp.
- Like I said, these two teams are good brawlers. And they're living up to their reputation.
- Public Enemy sets up the table, but one of them with the Nasty Boys gets tied up on the table!
- PILEDRIVER on concrete. Yet miraculously they get up to continue the match. I can't imagine how. :)
- They got back into the ring! Saggs is on a table. He gets up, pulls the chain, and Rocco Rock takes a nasty bump on the table. It does not give an inch!!!! OUCH!
- Saggs tries to elbow drop Rock through the table. Again, it does not give!!!!!!
- Knobbs has Grunge hanging over the top rope. They use a chain to clothesline Rocco Rock. 1-2-3.
- The Nastys win but Public Enemy attack them after the match. Saggs is through a table when the camera finally gets around to showing them.
Winners: The Nasty Boys
Match Rating: C. It was a garbage match in every way possible. But it was somewhat entertaining, and both teams did what people expected them to do. So, I'm saying C average.
- Mean Gene is at The Outsiders locker room which is surrounded by police officers. Lol.
5) WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Disco Inferno vs. Dean Malenko (c)
- DISCO FEVER! DISCO FEVER! DISCO FEVER! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH! Lol. That theme is still ridiculous and awesome.
- Dean Malenko just walks out with intensity. You couldn't ask for two different entrances from two wrestlers.
- Malenko goes to work immediately on Disco, taking him to the outside and throwing him against the guard rail and the ring post.
- Dusty: "He (Malenko) must never have liked to dance when he was a kid."
- Dean hits a great looking brainbuster on Disco for a good 2 count.
- Dean continues to dominate the opening moments of the match, focusing on the leg with heel hooks, half-crabs, and an STF.
- DISCO finally responds with some punches and gets fired up.
- Dean throws Disco outside and into the guard rail. Then, he regains control back in the ring with some sort of double arm submission maneuver.
- Disco again makes a comeback. Crowd is not buying this match at all. Or should I say no one is buying Disco beating Malenko in this match.
- Malenko nails a butterfly powerbomb and locks in the Texas Death Lock for the submission.
Winner: Dean Malenko
Rating: D+. No one was buying this match at all. Disco was nowhere near Dean's level at this point, and Dean did most of the work in carrying Disco to a watchable match.
6) Joe Gomez vs. Steve "Mongo" McMichael (w/ Queen Debra)
- Debra is walking out with a POODLE for God's sakes!
- Who the hell is Joe Gomez to get a PPV match? I mean, this is about 3 minutes in, and it feels like a match more suited for Nitro or WCW Saturday Night (probably more).
- Brain: "COME ON 76!!!! HIKE HIKE!!!!" (76 being Mongo's number with "Da Bears.")
- God, this is a sloppy match. Gomez barely connects with any dropkicks, and Mongo badly botches a rollup by just sitting on Gomez and then with little effort then backs up to sell the rollup attempt. UGH.
Winner: Mongo
Match Rating: F-. Debra was ringside. I can't call it outright abysmal.
- Mean Gene is backstage with Elizabeth, Woman, and Ric Flair. Flair cuts an insane promo saying "La Cock-a-racha" over and over again. Woman sells wanting Gene to be invited to a private party. Funny promo here.
7) U.S. Heavyweight Championship
Konnan (c) vs. Ric Flair (w/Woman and Elizabeth)
- How do you get the bad match out of your mind? You bring out Ric Flair, Elizabeth, and Woman to make you forget the whole thing. WOOOOO!
- Flair shakes Konnan's hand before the match and then proceeds later to do the classic "hands through the hair and strut."
- Flair and Konnan do a good back and forth to start off the match.
- Flair, in his mid 40s around this time, was still one of the greatest wrestlers in the world at this time. Bret Hart often berated Ric Flair for wrestling his same match for 30 years and just being average at best. I disagree. (Bret, one of the all-time greats himself, is guilty of having a bag of tricks in every one of his matches too.) Flair's ability to use his style, mold it to whomever he was wrestling, and put over the talent he was working against to make them look better than they did before the match (even if they lost to him) makes him one of the all-time greats.
- Flair is selling a lot of Konnan here including taking a surfboard type move, doing his backdrops, and taking a dive from Konnan. (Side note: Elizabeth and Woman got clipped by Konnan's dive. Liz got up immediately and you could tell Flair was concerned by whispering to her pretty soon afterwards.)
- Woman!!!! She kicked Konnan in the jewels while Flair had the referee distracted! Later, Liz has the referee distracted. Flair throws Konnan over the top rope. And Woman continues the attack!!!
- FLAIR does the upside down in the turnbuckle later. Konnan catches him with a springboard dropkick in the corner!
- KONNAN drop-toe-holds Flair and gets him in his own FIGURE 4!!!! Flair gets to the ropes.
- Flair and Konnan had a couple awkward moments towards the end where they didn't find a rhythm.
- Elizabeth distracts the referee while Flair and Konnan continue to have awkward wrestling. Then, Flair goes to make sure the referee is distracted. WOMAN nails Konnan with a heeled shoe, knocking him out. Flair covers. 1-2-3.
Winner and NEW United States Heavyweight Champion: Ric Flair
Match Grade: C-. There were some good moments in the match, but there seemed to be some major miscommunication between the two. Woman might as well have been the third wrestler in the match.
Mean Gene was in the back saying he heard a 3rd voice in The Outsiders' locker room. He couldn't tell who it was. Heenan suggests bribing one of the police officers to see if they can tell him who the 3rd man is.
8) The Giant/The Taskmaster (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit
** If Arn and Benoit win, they get Flair a world title shot at The Giant the next night on Nitro.
- The Giant and The Taskmaster jump Arn and Benoit from behind before they even make it to the ring. It's ON! Taskmaster uses a regular non-folding chair on Arn. Mongo nails Giant with a briefcase, which The Giant no-sells. Giant chases Mongo to the back. Taskmaster is being worked on by Benoit and Arn. Giant gets back to the ring. The bell finally rings.
- Benoit and Taskmaster are fighting back and forth. Considering Benoit had an affair with Sullivan's wife, Woman, at the time, this was definitely blurring the lines of reality and script.
- So far, The Taskmaster has been taking all the offense from Arn and Benoit. The story is obviously that once The Giant gets in the match, it's game over.
- Bad spot where Arn and Taskmaster mixed up a catapult into the turnbuckle. Arn had to dive into it after stopping for a second on his feet.
- THE GIANT IS IN! Arn and The Giant are wrestling in the ring. Benoit and The Taskmaster are fighting in the stands. CHOKESLAM on Arn! 1-2-3. Giant and Taskmaster win. Benoit DIVES on Taskmaster from the announce position to the entrance area. They are coming back to the ring. The Giant has left the area. Benoit executes a back suplex on Taskmaster. Here comes Woman, yelling for Chris to stop kicking Sullivan. God, this is uncomfortable for a LOT of reasons in hindsight. The Giant comes back in to chase off Benoit and Woman. Giant just picks up Sullivan like a rag doll and carries him over his shoulder.
Winners: The Giant and The Taskmaster
Match Grade: D. It was ok. But the match was very uncomfortable to watch. Plus, there were a couple awkward spots in there to boot.
9) The HOSTILE TAKEOVER
Team Outsiders (Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and ????) vs. Team WCW (Lex Luger, Sting, and Macho Man Randy Savage)
- They replay a montage of the actions of The Outsiders up to this point, including the wicked powerbomb to Bischoff off the stage through the tables a month prior.
- Michael Buffer is here for the introductions and the money. Probably more about the money. "WCW fans, are you ready?" "HELL NO!" (Just kidding. They cheer like crazy.) "Let's get ready to PAY ME!!!!!"
- Here come Hall and Nash to a pretty good ovation from the audience. There's only 2 of them, which Buffer even notes. The announcers are going nuts, demanding they reveal the 3rd man now.
- WCW plays Sting's theme, but the music stops. And Gene Okerlund is in the aisle, looking around like "Am I doing this or not?" Lol. He comes into the ring finally and asks The Outsiders why there isn't a 3rd man in the ring. Hall says he's in the arena. Nash says "We have enough to handle this right now."
- Finally here comes Team WCW. (For future reference, all three of these guys would be part of the nWo at one point or another over the next two years. Actually, all three were members of nWo Wolfpac with Kevin Nash in 1998.)
- Early on, Lex gets knocked out. When Luger is over the top rope being worked on by Nash in The Outsider corner, Sting does his Stinger Splash into that corner, knocking Luger off the top rope and to the outside. Cue the "medical personnel and gurney" to take Luger out of the match. The Outsiders try to fight the "medical personnel" to get to Luger. Lol. It's now 2 on 2 now.
- Hall slaps Sting in the face, and it's on!!!! Savage gets tagged in quickly after. Savage looks like a KISS fan who wanted to color their face because The Grateful Dead was playing that same evening. Lol.
- Ouch moment when Nash goes for an elbow drop, Savage sits up barely, and Savage takes the bump very badly. Savage tags out to Sting, and Nash continues his offense with Sting taking it insteaed of Savage.
- GOOD match so far as the novelty of seeing invading (former) WWF guys versus WCW talent was still a novelty. The announcers are putting over the match too with overdramatic commentary and realistic emotion.
- Hall and Sting are dominating the match for a good 4-5 minutes. Nash comes in eventually to deliver a sidewalk slam. Sting is doing a great job selling during this period of Outsider offense.
- TONY: "RANDY SAVAGE IS IN, AND HE'S NUTS!!!!"
- Savage dives off the top rope and delivers an ax-handle to Hall on the outside, throws him back in, and delivers it again on the inside. Nash lowblows Savage.
- HERE COMES HULK HOGAN! HERE WE GO!!!!!
- Brain: "WHO'S SIDE IS HE ON?"
- HOGAN DROPS THE LEG on Randy Savage, betraying WCW, joining The Outsiders, forming the nWo, and becoming (perhaps) the biggest heel in wrestling history.
- He covers Savage and Hall counts the victory. It doesn't count. But who's standing at the end of this? Hogan, Hall and Nash!
Winners: Match was thrown out
Match Grade: B for the match/A for everything surrounding it including what's about to happen.
TRASH is being thrown in the ring. Here comes Mean Gene to interview Hogan in the ring as trash continues to be thrown in the ring. Hogan tells the crowd to shut up if they want to hear from him. "You can call this the NEW WORLD ORDER, BROTHER!" He goes on to detail how Hall and Nash came from up North, and who knows more about that organization up north than he does? He became bigger than that whole organization, and when he came down to Billionare Ted's organization, Ted Turner made promises he never kept. He's bored, brother! So, he's partnering up with "The New Blood" to destroy everything in their path. All this trash represents these fans. He did everything for the fans and for the charities. And for the reception he got coming out and for them turning their back on him, they can "stick it." Hogan then cuts a promo on the whole locker room saying he was selling out arenas while they were bumming gas to get to high school. Hogan, Hall, and Nash continue to mock pose to the audience as trash and boos continue to pour down from the audience.
Tony Schiavone: "Hulk Hogan, you can go to hell. We're out of here. Straight to hell."
And we go to credits.
This was an amazing promo and moment everyone. Check it out. I'm not doing it justice. This is, in my opinion, the single greatest moment in WCW history. They had several other big things that happened later: Sting vs. Hogan, Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro, botching the broadcast of Halloween Havoc 1998 badly, and the Fingerpoke of Doom further killing the company. But this changed EVERYTHING. The nWo cemented an 83 weeks-in-a- row ratings win for WCW over WWF and expansion of the company to the point where Vince almost went bankrupt. The nWo concept was legitimately awesome even if bad booking and internal politics helped cause it to lose its momentum over time. But on this anniversary of the group's formation, let's remember how cool this was when it started and the great moments that came from this.
Event Rating: *** out of *****. This is almost a repeat of what I thought of WCW Uncensored 1997. The opening was great between Psicosis and Rey Mysterio Jr. And the main event was excellent here with a very solid in-ring match and an excellent story being told throughout the evening, culminating in Hulk Hogan's heel turn and perhaps greatest promo ever. The rest of the show was unfortunately not very memorable. There were some decent matches in there, but there were also a lot of terrible, boring, or skippable matches in there as well.
Hope you enjoyed this review. Comment on this if you have any thoughts, good or bad, about this... or if you just want to give me a "Too Sweet!"
Until next time, take care of yourselves and spread some awesomeness.
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