Welcome to the 2nd Ever UnWrest Review. This edition, we are going to "The Greatest Night in the History of our Sport" Part 1,425. That's right, Tony Schiavone fans: We're going to Uncensored 1997. It's WCW, which means you can expect the uppercard to suck and the undercard to save the show. But this may be the show the proves to be the exception to the rule. Here we go...
(This week, I'm going to start giving matches A-F ratings. For the event overall, I'll give the star ratings like I did last week for King of the Ring 1998.)
- We start with an open to go over the card. Then, we see Tony, Dusty, and Heenan go over the melodrama in WCW going into the show regarding the main event.
Match #1- U.S. Championship Match (No DQ)
Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero (c)
- You just know this match is going to be awesome based on who is in it.
- Good camera work in the early going showing Eddie and Dean trade stomps in the corner.
- And Tony's already pointing out something happening in the back. There's Hall, Nash, and Syxx standing over an unconscious Rick Steiner. And while this baloney is going on, Dean has a great one legged Boston Crab locked on Eddie. But we're too busy talking about nWo.
- Dean is using the championship as a weapon against Eddie!
- Eddie now gets the advantage and starts pounding Dean including some nice work on Malenko's knee.
(Side Note: Eddie Guerrero vs. Seth Rollins would have been epic if time and circumstances were different.)
- And we're back to what matters: Rick Steiner is not moving. It's not as if there's a match going on or anything. Well Eddie missed an ax-handle off the apron onto Dean. So, maybe I should thank WCW for not doing right by these guys for a change.
- More great work by Guerrero targeting the knee with the Figure 4 Leg Lock. And an eye poke breaks it
- My God. Eddie flies off the top turnbuckle and crashes into the guard rail on the outside! OUCH!
- Dean now working on the shoulder/arm of Eddie where he hit a few seconds ago. Hey, that's an armbar. That jerk Malenko. He stole that from JERICHO! LOL.
- Eddie hits one of his patented excellent backbreakers on Dean. BACK AND FORTH ACTION!!!
- DEAN HITS A FROG SPLASH ON EDDIE! He pulls him up after 2 to continue beating on him.
- Eddie locks in Dean IN THE TEXAS CLOVERLEAF!!!! Wow!
- Here comes SYXX with a camera. He's grabbed the U.S. Title. Eddie tries to get it back on the ring apron. Syxx loses the camera. Eddie knocks Syxx off. He turns around.... WHAM!!!!! Dean nails him with the camera! And 3 seconds later, WE HAVE A NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION!!!!!
Winner: Dean Malenko
Grade: A-. These guys have had so many great matches together. And this is another one that deserves to be remembered.
Mean Gene tries selling the hotline and sets up the story about what has happened with Rick Steiner. Here's Roddy Piper. "My whole life has been Uncensored." Truer words have never been spoken. And God, Jeff Jarrett was a Horsemen. That's a rib. No knock against Jeff Jarrett. It's just when you think Four Horsemen, Jeff Jarrett is just right above Paul Roma on the pecking order of the greatest Horsemen ever. And Roma's pulling up the rear of the horse. And there's Chris Benoit. Ugh. There's Debra though before Stone Cold got his hands on her. Yeah. The stuff WWE doesn't want you to remember that happened. And that promo takes about 5 minutes of our lives.
2) Psicosis vs. Ultimo Dragon
- Tenay helps set this up as an unofficial #1 Contenders Match.
- I had forgotten how good Ultimo Dragon was.
- As soon as Tony Schiavone praises Ultimo Dragon for an impressive balance act on the turnbuckle, Dragon botches a rope climb.
- Psicosis was another great Cruiserweight that gets forgotten.
- Unfortunately, these guys are failing to get to that next gear to make this more than just a forgettable match.
- PSICOSIS DIVES onto Ultimo Dragon.
- Dragon and Psicosis are diving at each other on the outside, but the crowd could give a damn.
- Sonny Ono, Dragon's manager, just kicked the hell out of Psicosis behind the ref's back.
- Decent back and forth action, but the crowd indifference just kills the perception of the match. Am I watching the legendary WCW Crusierweights or last week's 205 Live?
- Dragon hits a RUNNING LIGER BOMB!
- Bad looking Tornado DDT from the top where I'm surprised Psicosis wasn't paralyzed. Tiger Suplex by Dragon gets the win.
Winner: Ultimo Dragon
Grade: D+. Match had its moments, but the failure to get to the next gear and the crowd indifference lower the grade.
Gene Okerlund is back again, promoting the WCW hotline. And here comes DDP with altered music on WWE Network. We're in the middle of the DDP-Savage feud at this point. OOOH YEAH! Macho is up in the announce position with Elizabeth and a mic! "Brudda, brudda, brudda!!!!" Savage pulls out a nude magazine with DDP's wife in it. Kimberly comes out spraypainted. Savage beats up DDP while he's distracted, knocks him out, and spraypaints nWo on his back. When Kimberly covers up DDP, Savage spraypaints nWo on her back. Elizabeth tells Kimberly that she should be happy because this means the "nWo likes you." God, this doesn't age well.
3) Mortis vs. Glacier- Mixed Martial Arts Match
- Oh. This is going to be garbage.
- TEST YOUR MIGHT! TEST YOUR MIGHT! MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!
- Mortis looks like a guy who thought his friends were dressing up for a Haunted Mansion and was embarrased once he found out it was all a prank. Kanyon was a better wrestler than this gimmick.
- Is this just a wresting match? Because nothing about this is MMA.
- FINISH HIM! Please. End my suffering.
- Wikipedia says it is just a "singles match," but I could have sworn they said it was a Mixed Martial Arts match. But then again, this is a company that says it's a First Blood match and continues the match after someone is bleeding.
- "What a Match!"- Bobby Heenan. Yeah. What a... what a match indeed.
- AND SUB PAR ZERO gets the win.
- And our latest member of the nuthouse comes down to help Mortis beat up Glacier after the match: Wrath. Isn't this guy an atom bomb or what?
- Heenan: "Vandenberg's got himself a winner here." Good thing too because this audience sure were a bunch of losers for having sat through that.
Winner: Glacier
Grade: F. Next.
4) Buff Bagwell vs. Scotty Riggs (Strap Match)
- And the matches go from bad to worse. The former American Males are going at it. And there's that godawful theme song for Scotty Riggs: "AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES!
- Tony reminds us that the object of a strap match is to drag the opponent while you touch all 4 corners. You mean like this match is going to drag down the show? Ok. I get it.
- I'm pretty sure Dusty was on something for a good portion of this show. Just saying. This match is like the Ark of the Covenant. I dare not look at the screen too much.
- Dusty: "This is brutal." Yes, it is, Dream. Yes it is. It is so brutal that it makes Sapphire's dancing look like it belonged on Dancing with the Stars. It's that brutal, if you will.
- And there's the ref push and making the wrestler look like a wuss spot. Ugh.
- And this gets 12 minutes really?!
Winner: No one. But Buff Bagwell technically gets the win.
Grade: F-.
nWo promo with Hogan, Hall, Nash, and Savage in the classic black and white TV. They talk about winning and Rodman. And they talk about DDP's wife again. Maybe they were talking in code about how they were going to kill WCW for real in a couple years with one finger and a bad call on commentary.
5) Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri) vs. Public Enemy- STREET FIGHT
- This is either going to be great or an absolute trainwreck.
- Sherri is one of my Top 5 Managers ever.
- A Toilet Lid is being used as a weapon. Sherri is using a frying pan to help Booker T.
- Dusty rolls over on commentary laughing so hard when Booker and Stevie get hit with trash cans. "LOOK AT HIM! HAHAHAHAHA!" Commentary is quiet for a few seconds while Dusty is losing it. There probably hadn't been that much laughter in WCW since The Shockmaster botched his debut.
- Sherri is getting in on this too by jumping on one of the Public Enemy and choking him! This is nuts!!!
- Dusty's laugh track commentary has made this match. And Sherri is choking someone again, this time with camera cable!!!! DUSTY: "A PIZZA PAN!!! HAHAHAHA!" (In all seriousness, it is great to hear The Dream laugh like this.)
- Sherri accidentally hits Stevie Ray with a trash can; Sherri sells shock and worry. Stevie says "It's ok" and grabs Rocco Rock. And Sherri goes back to work! Lol. I love little things like that in something like this.
- Another small thing I noticed was Mickie Jay, the ref, going to everyone, clearly giving them the time left in the match before they have to "go home."
- Sherri missed again with the trash can and nailed Stevie by accident. TABLE SPOT! Public Enemy through Stevie Ray through the table.
- Here's Jeff Jarrett and Mongo. Mongo nails one of Public Enemy with a briefcase. Booker T with the Harlem Hangover! 1, 2, and 3.
Winner: Harlem Heat
Grade: B. For a street fight, this delivered the absolute goods and then some. This is why the Harlem Heat were one of the best WCW Tag Teams ever. Whatever kind of match you put them in, they'd find a way to flourish. Sherri was basically the 5th person in the match and was awesome in this. This may be my favorite Public Enemy match that I've ever seen, which isn't saying much.
Mean Gene is with Luger, Steiner, and The Giant. There's a lot of steroids and wasted potential in this group. At least Giant met his potential when he went to WWF and became a very good hand for the company. And Tony Schiavone says in his podcast, watch Luger's hands in all his promo. He points with his finger with his thumb sticking out in EVERY SINGLE PROMO. And in some way or another, he draws the line. Lol.
6) WCW World TV Championship
Prince Iaukea (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
- Notice a pattern here where the Cruiserweights have started to ascend the belt structure in WCW? I wish that continued to be a thing.
- Nice action so far between Iaukea and Mysterio with both hitting dives to the outside early on in the match. - Dusty: "This isn't a tornado match." Um... how is that possible with only two men in the match? Is this like Shawn Michaels tag teaming with God against Shane and Vince McMahon? (And yes, folks. I'm not being blasphemous. That was a real WWE storyline.)
- Listening to the announce team react to Mike Tenay explaining a inadvertant low blow by Iaukea to Mysterio was funny. How do you explain a man getting hit in the privates in a PG way? Stomach and the groin. I guess that works?
- This crowd is bored to tears. Iaukea is about as over with this audience as an aligator at a crocodile convention. Hey, if Jonathan Coachman can say stupid stuff on live TV and keep a job, I can do that on my blog, ok? No, it's not ok. I'm sorry everyone. I'll do better. Lol.
- Time runs out. Mysterio asks for 5 minutes. Iaukea says ok. The crowd reacts ever so slightly for it. Not exactly an enthusiastic "YEAH!"
- Boring chants coming from the audience. Rey trying to get the audience into it. Rey hits the West Coast Pop, but Iaukea reverses the pin attempt and wins. WEAK match.
Winner: Prince Iaukea
Match Rating: D- Crowd absolutely killed this match. Add to that the lack of charisma from Iaukea, and you have the recipe for indifference and failure.
7) 3 Team Challenge
Team Piper vs. Team WCW vs. Team now
If Team Piper wins, Piper gets Hogan in a Steel Cage match.
If Team WCW wins, nWo has to forfeit all their championships and will be banned for 3 years from WCW events.
If Team nWo wins, nWo may wrestle for any WCW title any time, any place around the world.
Elimination by Pin, KO, Submission, Over the Top to the floor.
Buffer: LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE! PAY ME NOW, DANG IT!
First out: From Team Piper, Chris Benoit; From Team nWo, Scott Hall; From Team WCW, The Giant.
- Benoit and Hall start off while Giant walks to the ring. Giant calmly walks in and double clotheslines them. - This is a mix of War Games, the Elimination Chamber, and The Royal Rumble all into one basically.
- First 5 minutes- All Giant domination, as it should be.
- GIANT IS ELIMINATED!!!!!! He went over the top rope after diving for Hall in the corner. Wow!
Next Set of Entrants
Team Piper: Jeff Jarrett
Team nWo: Macho Man Randy Savage (complete with OOOH Yeah sound from the house speakers)
Team WCW: Lex Luger
- Luger press slams Jeff Jarrett
Next Set of Entrants
Team Piper: Steve "Mongo" McMichael
Team nWo: Kevin Nash
Team WCW: Scott Steiner
- Hall with Snake Eyes on Jarrett.
- Jarrett almost immediately gets gutwrench bombed by Steiner. Hall gets it too!
- Kevin Nash gives Jarrett the big boot and eliminates him. Double G- Double O- Double N- Double E. GGOONNEE!!
- MONGO is thrown over the top rope.
Next Set of Entrants
Team Piper: Roddy Piper
Team nWo: Hollywood Hogan
Team WCW: None
- Steiner just got dumped over the top rope.
- Hogan is coming out with Kim Jong Un's best friend, Dennis Rodman.
- nWo is at full strength. Team Piper has Benoit and Piper. Team WCW has only Luger.
- Piper and Hogan are fighting on the floor. And here comes Savage. They are all in the ring now.
- By the way, Hogan is getting paid ridiculous amounts of money for each of these appearances in WCW.
- Rodman ELIMINATES Piper by holding the rope down when Piper starts running towards them.
- Outsider Edge on Benoit. Benoit thrown over the top to be eliminated.
- Luger vs. Team nWo- Can you say superhuman recovery time?
- Luger RACKS Savage, eliminates him.
- Luger throws Nash over the top, eliminating him.
- Luger RACKS Hall, eliminates him. Color me shocked.
- Luger has Hogan in the rack. Savage sprays Luger with a spray can. Hogan covers. Team nWo wins.
Winners: Team nWo
Grade: B-. Decent match overall and a cool concept. But it's a poor man's War Games in actuality.
After the match, they attack Luger some more and leave the ring to celebrate. But... a firework goes off. And from the rafters....
IT'S STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
Sting is attacking Hall, Nash, and Savage with the baseball bat. Sting drops all three with The Scorpion Death Drop.
(This is the first time Sting has actively made it known that he is NOT on the side of the nWo since donning the Crow attire.)
Hogan gets in the ring. Sting attacks Hogan! Sting DROPS Hogan with the Scorpion Death Drop! We're out of time!!!!!
Overall Rating: **1/2 out of a possible *****. There were three watchable matches on this show in my opinion: The opening U.S. Title match, the Tornado Tag Street Fight, and the Main Event. But the rest of the show is completely missable, with some of it being God awful. Still, I think you would have a good time going back to watching these 3 matches.
Hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane in reviewing WCW Uncensored 1997. Next week, I'm thinking of covering one of the co-branded events by ROH and NJPW like Global Wars or War of the Worlds. It might be posted on the website early, like Monday next week. If you have any thoughts on this or on the blog in general, please share them below.
Until next time, take care of yourselves and spread some awesomeness.
(This week, I'm going to start giving matches A-F ratings. For the event overall, I'll give the star ratings like I did last week for King of the Ring 1998.)
- We start with an open to go over the card. Then, we see Tony, Dusty, and Heenan go over the melodrama in WCW going into the show regarding the main event.
Match #1- U.S. Championship Match (No DQ)
Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero (c)
- You just know this match is going to be awesome based on who is in it.
- Good camera work in the early going showing Eddie and Dean trade stomps in the corner.
- And Tony's already pointing out something happening in the back. There's Hall, Nash, and Syxx standing over an unconscious Rick Steiner. And while this baloney is going on, Dean has a great one legged Boston Crab locked on Eddie. But we're too busy talking about nWo.
- Dean is using the championship as a weapon against Eddie!
- Eddie now gets the advantage and starts pounding Dean including some nice work on Malenko's knee.
(Side Note: Eddie Guerrero vs. Seth Rollins would have been epic if time and circumstances were different.)
- And we're back to what matters: Rick Steiner is not moving. It's not as if there's a match going on or anything. Well Eddie missed an ax-handle off the apron onto Dean. So, maybe I should thank WCW for not doing right by these guys for a change.
- More great work by Guerrero targeting the knee with the Figure 4 Leg Lock. And an eye poke breaks it
- My God. Eddie flies off the top turnbuckle and crashes into the guard rail on the outside! OUCH!
- Dean now working on the shoulder/arm of Eddie where he hit a few seconds ago. Hey, that's an armbar. That jerk Malenko. He stole that from JERICHO! LOL.
- Eddie hits one of his patented excellent backbreakers on Dean. BACK AND FORTH ACTION!!!
- DEAN HITS A FROG SPLASH ON EDDIE! He pulls him up after 2 to continue beating on him.
- Eddie locks in Dean IN THE TEXAS CLOVERLEAF!!!! Wow!
- Here comes SYXX with a camera. He's grabbed the U.S. Title. Eddie tries to get it back on the ring apron. Syxx loses the camera. Eddie knocks Syxx off. He turns around.... WHAM!!!!! Dean nails him with the camera! And 3 seconds later, WE HAVE A NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION!!!!!
Winner: Dean Malenko
Grade: A-. These guys have had so many great matches together. And this is another one that deserves to be remembered.
Mean Gene tries selling the hotline and sets up the story about what has happened with Rick Steiner. Here's Roddy Piper. "My whole life has been Uncensored." Truer words have never been spoken. And God, Jeff Jarrett was a Horsemen. That's a rib. No knock against Jeff Jarrett. It's just when you think Four Horsemen, Jeff Jarrett is just right above Paul Roma on the pecking order of the greatest Horsemen ever. And Roma's pulling up the rear of the horse. And there's Chris Benoit. Ugh. There's Debra though before Stone Cold got his hands on her. Yeah. The stuff WWE doesn't want you to remember that happened. And that promo takes about 5 minutes of our lives.
2) Psicosis vs. Ultimo Dragon
- Tenay helps set this up as an unofficial #1 Contenders Match.
- I had forgotten how good Ultimo Dragon was.
- As soon as Tony Schiavone praises Ultimo Dragon for an impressive balance act on the turnbuckle, Dragon botches a rope climb.
- Psicosis was another great Cruiserweight that gets forgotten.
- Unfortunately, these guys are failing to get to that next gear to make this more than just a forgettable match.
- PSICOSIS DIVES onto Ultimo Dragon.
- Dragon and Psicosis are diving at each other on the outside, but the crowd could give a damn.
- Sonny Ono, Dragon's manager, just kicked the hell out of Psicosis behind the ref's back.
- Decent back and forth action, but the crowd indifference just kills the perception of the match. Am I watching the legendary WCW Crusierweights or last week's 205 Live?
- Dragon hits a RUNNING LIGER BOMB!
- Bad looking Tornado DDT from the top where I'm surprised Psicosis wasn't paralyzed. Tiger Suplex by Dragon gets the win.
Winner: Ultimo Dragon
Grade: D+. Match had its moments, but the failure to get to the next gear and the crowd indifference lower the grade.
Gene Okerlund is back again, promoting the WCW hotline. And here comes DDP with altered music on WWE Network. We're in the middle of the DDP-Savage feud at this point. OOOH YEAH! Macho is up in the announce position with Elizabeth and a mic! "Brudda, brudda, brudda!!!!" Savage pulls out a nude magazine with DDP's wife in it. Kimberly comes out spraypainted. Savage beats up DDP while he's distracted, knocks him out, and spraypaints nWo on his back. When Kimberly covers up DDP, Savage spraypaints nWo on her back. Elizabeth tells Kimberly that she should be happy because this means the "nWo likes you." God, this doesn't age well.
3) Mortis vs. Glacier- Mixed Martial Arts Match
- Oh. This is going to be garbage.
- TEST YOUR MIGHT! TEST YOUR MIGHT! MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!
- Mortis looks like a guy who thought his friends were dressing up for a Haunted Mansion and was embarrased once he found out it was all a prank. Kanyon was a better wrestler than this gimmick.
- Is this just a wresting match? Because nothing about this is MMA.
- FINISH HIM! Please. End my suffering.
- Wikipedia says it is just a "singles match," but I could have sworn they said it was a Mixed Martial Arts match. But then again, this is a company that says it's a First Blood match and continues the match after someone is bleeding.
- "What a Match!"- Bobby Heenan. Yeah. What a... what a match indeed.
- AND SUB PAR ZERO gets the win.
- And our latest member of the nuthouse comes down to help Mortis beat up Glacier after the match: Wrath. Isn't this guy an atom bomb or what?
- Heenan: "Vandenberg's got himself a winner here." Good thing too because this audience sure were a bunch of losers for having sat through that.
Winner: Glacier
Grade: F. Next.
4) Buff Bagwell vs. Scotty Riggs (Strap Match)
- And the matches go from bad to worse. The former American Males are going at it. And there's that godawful theme song for Scotty Riggs: "AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES!
- Tony reminds us that the object of a strap match is to drag the opponent while you touch all 4 corners. You mean like this match is going to drag down the show? Ok. I get it.
- I'm pretty sure Dusty was on something for a good portion of this show. Just saying. This match is like the Ark of the Covenant. I dare not look at the screen too much.
- Dusty: "This is brutal." Yes, it is, Dream. Yes it is. It is so brutal that it makes Sapphire's dancing look like it belonged on Dancing with the Stars. It's that brutal, if you will.
- And there's the ref push and making the wrestler look like a wuss spot. Ugh.
- And this gets 12 minutes really?!
Winner: No one. But Buff Bagwell technically gets the win.
Grade: F-.
nWo promo with Hogan, Hall, Nash, and Savage in the classic black and white TV. They talk about winning and Rodman. And they talk about DDP's wife again. Maybe they were talking in code about how they were going to kill WCW for real in a couple years with one finger and a bad call on commentary.
5) Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri) vs. Public Enemy- STREET FIGHT
- This is either going to be great or an absolute trainwreck.
- Sherri is one of my Top 5 Managers ever.
- A Toilet Lid is being used as a weapon. Sherri is using a frying pan to help Booker T.
- Dusty rolls over on commentary laughing so hard when Booker and Stevie get hit with trash cans. "LOOK AT HIM! HAHAHAHAHA!" Commentary is quiet for a few seconds while Dusty is losing it. There probably hadn't been that much laughter in WCW since The Shockmaster botched his debut.
- Sherri is getting in on this too by jumping on one of the Public Enemy and choking him! This is nuts!!!
- Dusty's laugh track commentary has made this match. And Sherri is choking someone again, this time with camera cable!!!! DUSTY: "A PIZZA PAN!!! HAHAHAHA!" (In all seriousness, it is great to hear The Dream laugh like this.)
- Sherri accidentally hits Stevie Ray with a trash can; Sherri sells shock and worry. Stevie says "It's ok" and grabs Rocco Rock. And Sherri goes back to work! Lol. I love little things like that in something like this.
- Another small thing I noticed was Mickie Jay, the ref, going to everyone, clearly giving them the time left in the match before they have to "go home."
- Sherri missed again with the trash can and nailed Stevie by accident. TABLE SPOT! Public Enemy through Stevie Ray through the table.
- Here's Jeff Jarrett and Mongo. Mongo nails one of Public Enemy with a briefcase. Booker T with the Harlem Hangover! 1, 2, and 3.
Winner: Harlem Heat
Grade: B. For a street fight, this delivered the absolute goods and then some. This is why the Harlem Heat were one of the best WCW Tag Teams ever. Whatever kind of match you put them in, they'd find a way to flourish. Sherri was basically the 5th person in the match and was awesome in this. This may be my favorite Public Enemy match that I've ever seen, which isn't saying much.
Mean Gene is with Luger, Steiner, and The Giant. There's a lot of steroids and wasted potential in this group. At least Giant met his potential when he went to WWF and became a very good hand for the company. And Tony Schiavone says in his podcast, watch Luger's hands in all his promo. He points with his finger with his thumb sticking out in EVERY SINGLE PROMO. And in some way or another, he draws the line. Lol.
6) WCW World TV Championship
Prince Iaukea (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
- Notice a pattern here where the Cruiserweights have started to ascend the belt structure in WCW? I wish that continued to be a thing.
- Nice action so far between Iaukea and Mysterio with both hitting dives to the outside early on in the match. - Dusty: "This isn't a tornado match." Um... how is that possible with only two men in the match? Is this like Shawn Michaels tag teaming with God against Shane and Vince McMahon? (And yes, folks. I'm not being blasphemous. That was a real WWE storyline.)
- Listening to the announce team react to Mike Tenay explaining a inadvertant low blow by Iaukea to Mysterio was funny. How do you explain a man getting hit in the privates in a PG way? Stomach and the groin. I guess that works?
- This crowd is bored to tears. Iaukea is about as over with this audience as an aligator at a crocodile convention. Hey, if Jonathan Coachman can say stupid stuff on live TV and keep a job, I can do that on my blog, ok? No, it's not ok. I'm sorry everyone. I'll do better. Lol.
- Time runs out. Mysterio asks for 5 minutes. Iaukea says ok. The crowd reacts ever so slightly for it. Not exactly an enthusiastic "YEAH!"
- Boring chants coming from the audience. Rey trying to get the audience into it. Rey hits the West Coast Pop, but Iaukea reverses the pin attempt and wins. WEAK match.
Winner: Prince Iaukea
Match Rating: D- Crowd absolutely killed this match. Add to that the lack of charisma from Iaukea, and you have the recipe for indifference and failure.
7) 3 Team Challenge
Team Piper vs. Team WCW vs. Team now
If Team Piper wins, Piper gets Hogan in a Steel Cage match.
If Team WCW wins, nWo has to forfeit all their championships and will be banned for 3 years from WCW events.
If Team nWo wins, nWo may wrestle for any WCW title any time, any place around the world.
Elimination by Pin, KO, Submission, Over the Top to the floor.
Buffer: LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE! PAY ME NOW, DANG IT!
First out: From Team Piper, Chris Benoit; From Team nWo, Scott Hall; From Team WCW, The Giant.
- Benoit and Hall start off while Giant walks to the ring. Giant calmly walks in and double clotheslines them. - This is a mix of War Games, the Elimination Chamber, and The Royal Rumble all into one basically.
- First 5 minutes- All Giant domination, as it should be.
- GIANT IS ELIMINATED!!!!!! He went over the top rope after diving for Hall in the corner. Wow!
Next Set of Entrants
Team Piper: Jeff Jarrett
Team nWo: Macho Man Randy Savage (complete with OOOH Yeah sound from the house speakers)
Team WCW: Lex Luger
- Luger press slams Jeff Jarrett
Next Set of Entrants
Team Piper: Steve "Mongo" McMichael
Team nWo: Kevin Nash
Team WCW: Scott Steiner
- Hall with Snake Eyes on Jarrett.
- Jarrett almost immediately gets gutwrench bombed by Steiner. Hall gets it too!
- Kevin Nash gives Jarrett the big boot and eliminates him. Double G- Double O- Double N- Double E. GGOONNEE!!
- MONGO is thrown over the top rope.
Next Set of Entrants
Team Piper: Roddy Piper
Team nWo: Hollywood Hogan
Team WCW: None
- Steiner just got dumped over the top rope.
- Hogan is coming out with Kim Jong Un's best friend, Dennis Rodman.
- nWo is at full strength. Team Piper has Benoit and Piper. Team WCW has only Luger.
- Piper and Hogan are fighting on the floor. And here comes Savage. They are all in the ring now.
- By the way, Hogan is getting paid ridiculous amounts of money for each of these appearances in WCW.
- Rodman ELIMINATES Piper by holding the rope down when Piper starts running towards them.
- Outsider Edge on Benoit. Benoit thrown over the top to be eliminated.
- Luger vs. Team nWo- Can you say superhuman recovery time?
- Luger RACKS Savage, eliminates him.
- Luger throws Nash over the top, eliminating him.
- Luger RACKS Hall, eliminates him. Color me shocked.
- Luger has Hogan in the rack. Savage sprays Luger with a spray can. Hogan covers. Team nWo wins.
Winners: Team nWo
Grade: B-. Decent match overall and a cool concept. But it's a poor man's War Games in actuality.
After the match, they attack Luger some more and leave the ring to celebrate. But... a firework goes off. And from the rafters....
IT'S STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
Sting is attacking Hall, Nash, and Savage with the baseball bat. Sting drops all three with The Scorpion Death Drop.
(This is the first time Sting has actively made it known that he is NOT on the side of the nWo since donning the Crow attire.)
Hogan gets in the ring. Sting attacks Hogan! Sting DROPS Hogan with the Scorpion Death Drop! We're out of time!!!!!
Overall Rating: **1/2 out of a possible *****. There were three watchable matches on this show in my opinion: The opening U.S. Title match, the Tornado Tag Street Fight, and the Main Event. But the rest of the show is completely missable, with some of it being God awful. Still, I think you would have a good time going back to watching these 3 matches.
Hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane in reviewing WCW Uncensored 1997. Next week, I'm thinking of covering one of the co-branded events by ROH and NJPW like Global Wars or War of the Worlds. It might be posted on the website early, like Monday next week. If you have any thoughts on this or on the blog in general, please share them below.
Until next time, take care of yourselves and spread some awesomeness.
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